TITLE: Charlie#10:Where do
we go from here?
AUTHOR: Demon Faith
EMAIL: rosabeth@hotmail.com
CATEGORY: Romance, Series, Thoughts,
1st person POV, Song-fic, Angst
SPOILERS: Major for the rest
of the Charlie series. Minor for: shades of Grey, Hathor, COTG, FIAD, Broca
Divide and Cold Lazarus.
SEASON/SEQUEL: A little bit
after Charlie#9. All set after Season 3.
RATING: PG
CONTENT WARNINGS: Language,
implications and loadsa angst!
SUMMARY: ‘Where do we go
from here’ – Charlie and Jack think
DISCLAIMER: I don’t own
Jack, but I own Charlie. The song words are from Evita and were written by Tim
Rice
AUTHOR’S NOTES: NUMBER
TEN!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you honestly believe it, cos I can’t! I’m at #10; I’m
really quite pleased with myself. So, to celebrate, I’ve given you a break from
long drama-invested nutcase plotline, and settled for a nice, angsty song-fic!
I love the film Evita and thought these words summed up the situation
perfectly.
And, also, as I just
realised my nice opening paragraph has no reference to Charlie, I’ve updated it
for this landmark story!
Okay, <Jack> or
<Charlie> indicated whose thoughts the following paragraphs represent.
That clear?
Right, on with number 10!!!
Stargate Command. The first
line of defence for Earth, though very few people were aware of it. And SG1 was
the best in the SGC. Quite surprising really, considering SG1 wasn’t exactly
your regular USAF team. Sure, it had
your typical Colonel in command and his 2IC was an Airforce Major. But the
other two members were…slightly unusual. Dr Daniel Jackson, their rather
accident-prone archaeologist/anthropologist/linguist, who Jack thought was more
trouble then he was worth, and Teal’c, an alien to Earth with an even stranger
alien housed in his stomach, which just happened to be Earth’s deadliest enemy.
Not your run-of-the-mill team but the best, none the less. The very best.
Then came Charlie.
Beautiful, intelligent and spirited, she was soon entwined in SG1’s lives.
Weaving a spell of mystery and intrigue, Charlie came through the bad times to
create the good times. The new legend of the SGC.
Charlie: The Girl to Save
the Universe
<Jack>
Where do we go from here?
This isn’t where we intended to be,
We had it all, you believed in me,
I believed in you.
Where do we go from here? We’ve come a long way, Charlie and me. From a stuttered
beginning at Area 51, trying to save Daniel from that bitch of a Goddess. We
just can’t seem to get rid of her! She came back later, when we got locked in
the Armoury. That’s when I found Charlie’s demon, the guilt that had plagued
her constantly. The death of loved ones was always difficult, especially when
you feel you’ve caused it. I know that feeling all too well.
We thought we’d got rid of
Hathor that time. But, no, she came back for more, this time up close and
personal. She took Charlie. And I was too busy playing ‘jealous lover’ to
realise what was happening. The showdown in the Briefing Room, pointing that
gun at her and knowing exactly what I had to do with it. Another guilt trip
there. And if that wasn’t enough, we find there’s another Gourld, a meaner,
nastier one who just happened to be the leader of Apophis’ clan. Though, of
course, we didn’t know that then. Eight long months of separation: boy, that
was tough. Charlie won’t talk about it; I don’t know what she’s hiding from me.
I was so low, shutting myself in my office, writing long letters to her,
telling her what I’d been doing, how much I missed her, how I so wanted her to
come back. They’re still in a drawer somewhere; I couldn’t bear to burn them.
Then, the whole thing with Dakatte and Apophis. Charlie taken from me again,
this time drugged and alone, not truly knowing who or where she was. And, then
the bastard took her and…I can’t bear to think about it. I just want to forget
it, but I can’t. I’m reminded every day, when I see my gorgeous wife, with a
Goa’uld child in her stomach.
Then, when I could finally
try and protect her, she slips through my fingers to Maybourne. Another scum of
Earth, I though I’d put him out of business with the whole undercover thing.
No, our luck is bad. Then, to escape him, we disappeared to the Land of Light,
where Drey’ac dies before us and we gain Ry’ac as a charge. Another person to
protect at all costs.
Finally, we try to get
married. And, what happens then? The Tok’sokar try to screw things up. And my
brave, courageous Charlie gets us out. And, now, we stand together, our whole
lives ahead of us, though I’ve probably lost a few years. And, where do we go
from here?
Certainties disappear,
What do we do for our dreams to survive?
How do we keep all our passions alive?
As we used to do.
What can we do? Nothing is certain for us anymore. We have a Harseisus
child to care for, to keep away from NID. Charlie’s lost some of her sparkle;
her energy is being drained again. She can’t do much, just sit and rest the
days away. So, what will it be like when the child comes?
And, then she has a husband like me. I promised to stand by her, but I
don’t know if I can give her what she needs. Truth be told, I’m getting on a
bit and here is this vibrant young girl with a child she hates and a husband
who’s inadequate. No matter what Teal’c and Daniel said, I don’t deserve my
Charlie. I don’t know what kind of husband I can be; I failed last time. What says
it won’t happen again?
<Charlie>
Why are you at my side?
How can I be any use to you now?
Give me a chance and I’ll let you see how,
Nothing has changed
I’m beginning to wonder why
he’s still here. Heck, I’m wondering why he came in the first place. All I can
do is sit here and think, doubt, run harried scenarios of disaster through my
mind. This isn’t what we wanted, this isn’t why we fell in love and got
married. Yet, this is what I have to offer him. Pathetic, isn’t it.
I don’t deserve someone like
Jack. He’s so kind, caring and considerate. I’m just an Indian Rebel, with much
more of a past than I’m willing to admit. I know I’m holding him back,
preventing him from doing things he wants. I heard him on the phone the other
day, talking to Ferretti. SG2 were going to see a hockey match and invited SG1.
But Jack said no, said he was ‘busy’. I know what that means. He doesn’t want
to leave me on my own. Danielle’s shut up since the wedding; I think she’s
disappointed in my ‘prince’.
Danielle. The curse on my
soul, the plague on my existence. A disaster waiting to happen. My child. The
thought makes me sick. Creation of life, something so special, so important; with
a monster like Apophis! His child inside me, creating havoc with my mind and
body. Having more control over me than I do myself. If she’s capable of this
now, what about when she’s older? I’m already convinced she’s evil, an enemy
within. Attacking me from the inside now, trying to destroy the one who created
her. Some gratitude! And now I’ve saddled Jack with this too; he thinks nothing
has changed. He’s wrong. We’re different now, older, wiser. And burdened.
Deep in my heart I’m concealing,
Things that I’m longing to say,
I have so much to say to him, so much to share. He’s always been there
for me, loving me against all odds. We’re together, we’ve finally made it, and
yet, this child is pushing us apart. Every time we try and find something deep
and meaningful, some disaster crops up to stop us. Sometimes I feel like we’re
drifting apart, floating out to the sea of broken hearts. I won’t let that
happen to us! The Goa’uld can’t win the battle; destroy what’s left of love in
our hearts. And we do love each other, sometimes I think too much for our own
good. In this job, connections are dangerous, families potential hostages and
weaknesses. The military don’t like marriage. We just shrugged and said what
the hell. Forever entwined, that’s me and Jack. And I have to tell him; or
soon, it could be too late.
<Jack>
Scared to confess what I’m feeling,
Frightened you’ll slip away,
I keep thinking it’s a dream. Or, a nightmare. That one day, I’m going
to wake up and find myself in a completely different place. I’ve always felt
like that; out of place, not quite at home anywhere. But, here I am, finally
content. Nothing has ever felt this right, this secure. I briefly tasted it
with Sarah, now I’ve found it completely. Peace in my soul, calm in an ocean of
unrest.
Though, I fear I’m going to
lose it all. And, how easy it would be. Walk through the Gate and get gunned
down, or worse, Charlie gets gunned down. I’ve almost lost her so many times;
we’ve hardly been together! Now, we have two months to learn, get to know
everything the other feels, something akin to what Sam and Danny have. Now,
there’s a marriage advert. They work in such harmony, are so completely
sensitive to the other’s needs. And fate has thrown them together, as it’s done
to Charlie and I. We’ve been dealt an Ace, now we just have to play it.
But, I also fear for
Charlie. I’m so afraid of what will happen when that child comes, what she’ll
do. What we’ll do.
How can I tell my wife to
watch herself? Take care? Don’t die? I can’t. There’s too much pain involved
with death.
<Charlie>
You must love me.
He’s here, he’s with me. That’s all I need. Maybe I don’t deserve him,
but I know that we can get through this together. We have to be strong, but we
can only do that together.
I love him so much. I don’t
want to lose him. My Jack.
<Jack>
You must love me.
‘Love and marriage, go together like a horse and carriage’. Reminder of
carefree living, rhymes, games, and joy. Perhaps I’ve found it again. Charlie
and I will survive this. The Goa’uld can’t take this from us, we’re strong
together.
I love her so much. I don’t
want to lose her. My Charlie.