In the Silence
-Demon Faith
E-MAIL:
rosabeth@hotmail.com
CATEGORY:
Romantic Fluff (of the S/D variety), Sam POV
DISCLAIMER:
Don’t own, wouldn’t want the hassle.
AUTHOR’S
NOTES: Tk wanted, Mel asked, I wrote
I’m
waiting.
I’ve
always been waiting, I guess. Searching blindly for the answers, desperate for
someone to call back, ‘Yes, you’ve made it, this is it.’
But
there’s always been silence.
Sometimes,
I listen again – forgetting that it’s done, that I’ve found all my answers.
They were with him.
He
doesn’t realize it, you know. I watch him at every moment, wondering what he’s
thinking, if he’ll suddenly discover the meaning of life. I have.
I
watch him sleeping too, hoping he’s dreaming about me, knowing I dream about
him. He caught me once, and he smiled sleepily and said, ‘Dreaming again?’ And
I wondered if he had read my mind, knew that I had woken from sleep with his
voice ringing in my head and the touch of his lips lingering on mine.
I
don’t know when it started, when I discovered Daniel was my meaning. All I know
is that the silence grew too loud, and I was deafened by the empty echo of a
deserted house. The phone was in my hand and I was dialling. A voice answered,
‘Sam? Is that you?’ My heart thundered as it never had before and I whispered a
quiet ‘Yes’.
And
then there was silence. The fear pierced my heart – would there always be
silence, would it haunt me forever? But he spoke, slowly and softly. ‘It’s
alright. It’s all going to be okay.’ And the silence was banished.
He
came over the next day, worried as only Daniel can be. He held me for a while,
and we talked about everything and nothing – we kept the silence away.
Now,
I am waiting. We’ll order pizza and watch a film, be the best friends we’ve
always been. And I’ll be thinking about him all the time, wondering if he’s
drowning in the silence too.
The
doorbell rings, driving away the silence’s fingers that were beginning to reach
for me. I answer, and he’s standing there smiling. I want to kiss him so badly,
but I can’t, not now, not knowing.
I
step back, and he walks in. There’s electricity in the air, and I can hardly
breathe. He seems to feel it too, and moves away. I follow, so unsure,
wondering. He sits heavily, and I move to make the coffee. ‘No, Sam, not now’.
I
stop and turn, moving back towards him. He moves over so I can sit next to him.
I sit slowly, carefully. He takes my hand seriously, but my heart somersaults
at the contact. ‘You know you can trust me, Sam, don’t you?’ I nod, but he’s
not looking ‘I don’t want there to be…secrets between us.’ He knows. He must
know. ‘It’s been obvious for a while now’ Oh, no no no! Have I made a fool of
myself? Have I crossed the line?
It
echoes again – the silence. The distance between us grows, and my heart is as
ice. I try to take my hand away, but he holds it tightly. ‘You mustn’t hide
things from me, Sam. We’ve always trusted each other. Why couldn’t you tell
me?’
I
turn my head away, not wanting to meet the hurt in his eyes. ‘I didn’t know
how’ I say, finally. I don’t want to look at him, afraid of the truth and the
rift it could cause between us. But, how can I hide it? I love him.
The
words echo in my mind, until they are all that remains. They feel so
good,
but I push them away. I won’t be haunted by false hopes.
‘Please,
Sam, don’t hide from me. I want you to be happy.’ He pauses, and suddenly I
feel the silence drift away. ‘But, if you really love him, I’ll support you…’
I
draw away, startled. He doesn’t know! And he thinks…Jack, but how? Why? I mean,
‘Who told you that?!?’. He is shocked by the tone in my voice, and our eyes
meet again. He draws breath like a dying man, and I realise that he sees it in
my eyes, the words echoing around my head. ‘No one told me. I thought…’ His
voice is a whisper, and we appear to be moving closer. Gently, I place my
finger on his lips. ‘Shush.’
The
room is silent, but I’m not drowning. I can feel my heart pounding, and when I
reach out, his is pounding too. Slowly, we gravitate towards each other, so
close that I can feel him breathing. His lips brush mine, and we’re together.
There’s an unstoppable magnetism holding us together, so much that I never want
to let go. But I stop, and breathe, and kiss him again.
And
again. And again. I pull away a little, to see his eyes, and find my passion
mirrored there. I stand slowly, and pull him up. Leaning close, I whisper, ‘The
bedroom’s this way’