By Demon
Faith and Stephali
AUTHORS: Demon Faith and Stephali
EMAIL: rosabeth@hotmail.com
and stephalij@hotmail.com
CATEGORY: Sam/Daniel, Angst, Drama
SPOILERS: Very minor spoilers for: COTG,
Singularity, Tok’ra, Fair Game, FIAD and Maternal Instinct.
SEASON/SEQUEL: End of Season 4. No sequel.
RATING: PG-13
CONTENT WARNINGS: Character death and heavy angst.
SUMMARY: Sometimes the greatest trial is death itself…
DISCLAIMER: Stargate is owned by a lot of rich and
privileged people in America, who really don’t need to sue us, do they? We
didn’t make any money from writing this and we don’t own Stargate: though it
does own us…
AUTHOR’S NOTES: Hmm…if you’re into sweet and gentle
fic, this really isn’t for you. As usual, Steph and I had quite a few arguments
through this, and the biggest one was over the ending. So, if you don’t like
it, blame both of us!
DF/xx
“Well, if
that’s everything…”
General Hammond looked round the table, frowning
slightly. Jack looked totally bored out of his mind, so there was nothing new
there; Teal’c was as stoic as ever; but Sam and Daniel looked on the verge of
collapse. They were both nursing huge mugs of coffee, and Daniel had his head
in his arms.
“No, sir, I think that’s all.”
Jack followed the General’s gaze, just as Sam’s
slid onto her arms, head touching Daniel’s and promptly fell asleep.
“Major Carter? Doctor Jackson? What’s the meaning
of this?”
Jack sat back in his chair frowning, while Teal’c
smiled to himself. He knew.
“I believe they were working on the Naquadah
reactor, General Hammond. I found them in Major Carter’s laboratory this
morning. They were…high.”
Jack stifled laugher, as Teal’c stumbled over the
unfamiliar word. The General’s eyebrows flew up, especially when Sam stretched
out her arm and spilt coffee all over Daniel’s notes. Jack and Teal’c quickly
retrieved the other cup and Sam’s notes, trying to remove the soaked papers
from Sam’s grasp. The General watched this all in total amazement, and when the
operation was finished, just stood back and said.
“Well, I suggest you wake them up.”
He then turned on his heel and left. Jack and
Teal’c looked at each other, sighed, and then grinned at each other. Jack knelt
down behind them, glancing back at Teal’c, then put his hand to his mouth and…
“RISE AND SHINE CAMPERS!”
They were both up like a shot, twisting round to
scowl at Jack. He was grinning all over his face and Sam grabbed the ice-cold
pitcher of water from the table. Daniel raced at Jack, grabbed his arms in a
totally surprise manoeuvre, and Sam dumped the water over Jack’s head.
“Ow! That’s freeeezing!”
Daniel released him and shook off his sleeves. Sam
grabbed his arm, still giggling, and dragged him back to her lab.
~
“Oh, that was priceless!”
“How on earth did we manage to fall asleep? And in
the middle of a briefing!”
Sam giggled again, poured fresh coffee and sat down
at the table. Daniel sat opposite her, taking the proffered coffee eagerly and
downing it in one go, followed shortly by Sam.
“Oh, that’s better…Achoo!”
“Daniel, are you okay?”
“What the hell is going on?”
Sam and Daniel turned, to find Jack and Janet in
the doorway, Jack still sopping wet.
“Um…we were just…”
“Working? Drinking coffee? Killing yourselves? Cos
that’s what it looks like to me! You two are gonna work yourselves to death,
and take that quite literally!”
Janet barged in, confiscated the coffee cups and
dragged them to their feet.
“You are staying sedated in my infirmary until you
have had a full day’s sleep. 24 hours of rest, another 24 hours recreation and
then your mission on Monday!”
“But Janet…”
Two identical whines, two pleading faces and two
seriously ticked-off officers not about to take no for an answer. Janet grabbed
Sam and dragged her off and Jack towed Daniel down the corridor, watched
curiously by the rest of the base.
Only when Sam and Daniel were safely tucked up in
bed and fast asleep, did Janet stop for a break herself. She stared at the pair
and shook her head. This was the first time she’d actually had to drag them
herself; Jack and Teal’c usually towed them in at 8am after finding them in
some lab or other. Then, they’d tell her they were fine, nothing wrong at all,
and they were usually caffeine-high and bouncy. Jack and Teal’c would leave in
frustration and Janet would stick hypodermic needles into them to just get them
to lie down. Of course, the sedative wore off in a couple of hours but by that
time, they would sleep through to the next day with no trouble.
It seemed Daniel had picked up a cold from the last
planet they’d visited, a mild alien flu and working himself into a
caffeine-frenzy wasn’t quite the way to treat it. But try telling him that.
Anyway, their efforts, for all their hilarities,
were becoming a serious health risk and General Hammond's patience wouldn't
stretch much further. Come to think of it, neither would Jack's, you could only
soak him in cold water so many times before you lived to regret it. That was
why, starting from now, Janet was imposing a caffeine ban on the pair. However,
to keep confrontations to a minimum she wasn't going to tell anyone this until
after she had woken them up.
With her two most infamous patients heavily
sedated, Janet was looking forward to a peaceful shift. With Sam and Daniel out
of the way, what could go wrong?
~
Sam woke up to a killer headache, and knew exactly
where she was. Oh hell, here we go again…
Janet’s face appeared above her bed, and Sam
sighed. Here comes the lecture…
“Sam, how many times have we been here?”
“Too many.”
Sam was frustrated, and the sarcasm came naturally
to her brain. Janet just sighed.
“That’s right. Which is why you and Daniel are on a
caffeine ban until you can prove…”
“WHAT?”
Sam sat straight up and stared at Janet in horror.
No…coffee? Oh my, the world was ending! Janet shook her head and moved over to
the other stirring figure, but Sam beat her to it.
“Daniel, wake up! They’re banning the coffee. The
coffee, Daniel!”
Daniel woke to Sam’s shouts and gasps.
“You can’t be serious? No coffee?”
Janet put her hands on her hips and glared, just as
Sam and Daniel turned on their twin pleading looks.
“Come on, Janet…”
“One more chance…”
“NO!”
Sam and Daniel reeled, looking quite put out.
“Until you can learn to drink coffee in moderation,
like the mature adults you are, I am putting you on a ban for the foreseeable
future. Is that clear?”
Sam pouted but nodded, and Daniel just folded his
arms in a very ‘I am so mad at you’ way.
“And I’ve already had Jack and Teal’c clear your
apartments and offices of caffeine, notify the canteen and your local shops of
your ban, so you’re not going to escape me. I’m on the verge of asking the
Tok’ra for a caffeine monitor…”
Sam and Daniel’s faces fell, not quite believing
this was happening. Ok, so coffee wasn’t all that central to their lives but it
gave them an excuse to visit each other’s offices. And to keep working when
they knew they were well past their limit.
“’K then, Janet.”
“If you say so, Janet.”
“Good,” Janet beamed, “And now, to Jack’s house,
and the Superbowl!”
~
Now to be honest, Janet was looking forward to the
Superbowl. She had memorised what appeared to be hundreds of pieces of useless,
pointless trivia, to spring on Jack whenever he least expected it. Sam and
Daniel appeared to be less keen on the idea, but maybe they were still reeling
from that latest heavy blow. Whatever the situation, they all arrived in Jack's
lounge together at least hoping to
have a good time.
“Come in, come in! My, you two look happy.”
Sam and Daniel glared at Jack, who beamed back. Sam
sat grumpily on the sofa, with Daniel beside her.
“Have you ever done anything so boring?” he
whispered to her.
“Never, Daniel. Briefings are more fun than this.”
Daniel chuckled, and pretended to look vaguely
interested in the images on the screen. However, he soon began to feel very
sleepy, and knew exactly what he needed.
“Sam, how about we go grab some coffee?”
Sam nodded and looked carefully around the room.
Janet was puzzling and enthralling Jack with her almost endless Superbowl
knowledge, and Teal’c appeared to be meditating his way through the entire
thing. Sam was envious.
She nodded to Daniel and they crept to the kitchen
Sam had almost made it to the coffee jar when…
“And just what do you think you’re doing?”
“Um…we were just…”
“I was…achoo!”
Daniel suddenly had a sneezing fit, then preceded
to cough his way through the next round of Superbowl, finally managing to claim
illness and leave for home, with Sam as an escort.
~
Monday came and Sam and Daniel were exhausted
again, having studied late at Daniel’s, surviving on chocolate and red wine.
Now, not only were they almost asleep, but also nursing killer hangovers. Oh,
not a good morning!
“Well, you two look decidedly bouncy.”
Daniel glared at Jack, while Sam barely managed not
to swipe at him.
“Hmm…let’s head out. Lots of artefacts await!”
For some reason, Daniel wasn’t even excited.
~
Even the usual rush that came from stepping through
the Gate didn't cheer up Sam and Daniel. In fact, if anything, it seemed to
have made Daniel's cold worse and he was sneezing continuously. Janet had told
him to visit her if he felt any more ill than he had before, but some how he
had avoided the issue, and Janet, and came through the Gate anyway. He was now
beginning to regret this, as he felt terrible.
He bent over to examine some markings inscribed on
a small pillar, just next to the DHD. They were deeply engraved into the rough
stone and seemed to be almost a sign post of some kind. They read, 'Those who
came by choice - wait here.' Daniel relayed this to the others who had even
less of a clue about what the cryptic message meant than him.
Deciding that they didn't have time to stand around
and wait, even if they did come by choice, Jack ordered SG1 to split up and do
their usual recon routine. Daniel was just about to go follow orders (for once)
when the world turned black as enormous thunder clouds rolled across the
formerly clear sky. Sam yelled to O'Neill who told her to redial the Stargate,
no matter how important this research was.
Daniel bent down to pick up his pack (which he had
dropped in surprise) when a large lightning bolt flew down from above and
struck him, sending him crashing to the ground, lifeless.
Sam almost screamed, pausing at her dialling and
the Stargate chevrons faded. Ignoring Jack’s shouts and the perilous lighting,
she ran through the storm zone to the still form of her best friend. She placed
her fingers to his neck and stopped. No pulse.
Sam stared in shock, then started CPR. No,
he can’t die, not like this, not now, no, I won’t let it happen, he can’t die…Sam
kept these thoughts going, as the rain started to get heavy. When had it
started raining, anyway? Sam didn’t care: she had lost him, he was gone, and he
wasn’t coming back. Abruptly, the clouds cleared and the sun shone brightly
down on them. Ever so slowly, Jack and Teal’c made their way over, just as Sam
gave up, clenching her fingers around his soaked shirt.
“Daniel…”
“Is he gone, Carter?”
“Yes, sir.”
Sam leaned her head gently on his chest, tears
filling up her eyes.
“Your friend is with the Chosen. Rejoice in their
mercy!”
They all looked up, to see a cheerful looking alien
walking towards them, smiling.
Jack stood up, furious.
“Did you do this? Did you kill him?”
The alien stopped short, surprised at the anger.
“Why, of course. His suffering has ended and he is
with the Chosen. Is this not delightful?”
“No, it bloody well isn’t! Our friend just died
back there, and you’re telling us you killed him!”
The alien began to get upset, pacing around before
them. Sam had turned back to Daniel’s body, gently tracing imaginary lines with
her finger.
“He did not come to die? To join the Chosen? He was
not ill? Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!”
Jack watched in horror. He couldn’t quite believe
this was happening. His whole body was numb, he couldn’t feel a thing. Daniel’s dead, Daniel’s dead…no, he
couldn’t believe that. And this alien wasn’t helping any.
Teal’c was getting angry, yet beginning to see
something. This was the human version of Kheb, a place for humans to come and
die and to move on to another existence. And Daniel Jackson had stumbled upon
it. Teal’c looked back to his body, and saw Sam staring at the gentle face of
his lifeless form. She was gently caressing the hair, touching his cheek
gently. She does not believe him dead, realised
Teal’c.
"Is there anything we can do to reverse this
process?" he asked.
The alien paused, as if considering. "It is
possible to convert the Chosen back to their corporeal forms within two
rotations of this planet." He interrupted Jack's startled outburst.
"However, you have to consider whether this is really what your friend
would have wanted. Would you condemn him to such a life as the ones that you
lead, if you knew that now he is now, as you would call it, in heaven?"
"Now listen," Jack countered,
"Daniel is leading the life he loves leading. He can do basically anything
he wants to, and he'll get away with it. Now that's not because he's been Chosen to live differently from the rest
of us, it's because of what's he's done here, in the real world, where things
matter."
"How do you know that what happens there does
not matter? How do you know that this has not been chosen for him. that this is
what was always meant to be?"
"Oh for crying out loud.." Jack muttered.
"We are not leaving here until Daniel is back with us here, you got
that?"
"I cannot grant so important a request so
lightly. I will need strong, hard evidence that you are not condemning this man
you call your friend to a mortal existence against his will."
"Then why don't you just ask him?"
The alien sank back, as if dejected. "It has
been decided, you must present your case before the High Court of the Chosen.
But you must promise not to try and talk with your friend alone. If you do so,
then you will be violating the greatest of our laws, by ignoring our people. If
this occurs then you will be sent to the existence of the Unchosen
and...."
"That's not a good thing, yeah I get it."
"I must leave to make our preparations. You
are allowed to activate the Chapa'ai once before the trial begins. Do not break
our laws, or the punishment will be severe."
The alien disappeared, and Jack’s shoulders sagged.
Teal’c sent him an inquiring look, while Sam just remained where she was.
“What are we to do, O’Neill?”
“We’ve gotta get him back. And we need some
reasons. Carter?”
Sam was vaguely aware of someone talking to her but
all she could think of was Daniel. There he was, dead to her, yet close-by
somehow. Had she the right to bring him back from ‘heaven’ for her own selfish
reasons?
“Carter?”
Carter. A
vibrant, intelligent woman reduced to silent grief because of the man before
her. No, Daniel wouldn’t want that for her. She had to do something, had to
bring him back.
~
"Am I hearing you correctly Colonel?"
General Hammond couldn't believe what his 2IC was saying, that they had let Dr.
Jackson get killed because some alien race thought it was for his own good.
"Yes sir. There wasn't anything we could have
done, we didn't know what they were doing until they.... did it."
Hammond looked at the pale face of the normally
jovial Jack O'Neill and knew at once that it would be of no use to order him
not to attend the trial. Not that the General himself would want that anyway,
he too depended on Daniel, not just because of his vast knowledge of whatever
it was Daniel knew about.
"I must warn you Colonel, that these aliens
are not against killing. If you make one false move then it is possible that
they would try to kill you as well. And from what I've heard I don't think
you'd be able to do much to prevent it."
"I know that sir. That's why I'm ordering
Carter and Teal'c back to base. If anyone's going to do this, then I'll do it
alone. There's no point in risking them as well."
"I can't see them doing that willingly, Jack.
They've as much right to staying there as you have."
"Leave the Gate open for a few minutes please
sir. If I can convince them to return, I'll send them through. If not then I'll
send you another transmission."
"Good luck Colonel. Bring Dr. Jackson
home."
"I'll try sir." And with that he
disconnected and headed over to talk to the other remaining members of his
team.
~
“No way in hell…”
“Carter, that wasn’t a suggestion!”
“He’s my friend too! I’m not leaving him here, I
could never do that! He’d stick by any of us, no matter what happened. I won’t
desert him now!”
Sam panted, out of breath from her ranting. Jack
stared at her, also red-faced. Then, Teal’c stepped forward.
“You will not remove me either, O’Neill. We shall
not leave Daniel Jackson to an unjust fate.”
Jack sighed, and turned around to see the alien
facing him.
“Don’t do that! It’s rude to creep up on people!”
“No, it is rude to demand a Chosen back…”
“He doesn’t want that! He would want to stay with
us…”
“You were close.”
Those three words really hit home. A simple
statement, but it felt as if Sam’s heart had been staked against a wall.
“Yes, we are close,” she said, her voice thick with
emotion.
"It doesn't matter. All relationships must be
undone in the end. Through sacrifice, a love may be proved, but if it is ended,
what is its worth? Even the greatest love will not last forever."
"Which makes it more important that we get him
back now, so that Daniel gets a chance to live. If it must end, as you say,
then why shorten it. Life is precious."
"Of no consequence. Anyway, I have returned
from the High Court, the trial is about to begin." The alien spread his
arms wide and a spiral of light flickered before him. He gestured that they
should enter, and they did, stepping through the portal, so unlike the Stargate
that its purity upset them. They felt as if they were indeed stepping through
the door to the heavens.
~
Daniel felt very strange indeed. This was a very
strange place. These were very strange people.
“So, let me get this straight: I’ve died and this
is Heaven?”
“In your perspective.”
“But I don’t want this! Send me back!”
“This we cannot do! Why, why are you ungrateful?”
“I didn’t chose to come here. You…you…you murdered
me!”
The beings were incredulous. Them, the Chosen
elite, murderers? This could not be so.
“But we are the Chosen, we are always right!”
“Now that you’re dead? Or have you always been
right? Why is this here? It’s wrong!”
“No, no – you are wrong!”
Daniel sighed. It was like talking to a brick wall.
But then he hit on their words.
“But, aren’t I Chosen now? Therefore, I’m always
right too!”
"You are yet young for the Chosen, you have
been here but one day. We have always been here, but you will learn in time.
Then you will have the right to decide the fate of others."
"I don't want to decide the fate of others, I
want to decide the fate of me."
"Humans have always wanted that. But in your
case, the other humans with you wanted that too. They have been permitted to
argue for your life in the miserable mortal existence."
"Thank God!" Daniel hadn't known before
now how much living would mean to
him. "Can I see them?"
"Only when they are at the trial. There will
be no communication when you are not present before the whole of our
people."
"But..."
"But it is our way. Dishonour it and you will
be cast out of here into the pits of what you would call hell. Do you accept
our terms? For if you do not, then you will remain here as a Chosen, which we
stress is the most profitable state in the long run."
"I would like the chance to fight for my life,
and to see my friends again."
"Then it is agreed. Come, the Court
awaits."
~
Sam stood in a vast room, and wasn’t quite sure
what was going on. She couldn’t see Jack or Teal’c. Daniel’s body was lying on
what appeared to be an altar before her. She bent towards it, reaching out to
touch him.
“You will not touch the Chosen’s mortal form. It
must be pure of mortal interference.”
Sam looked up, as several glowing beings drifted
towards her.
“The Chosen have selected you to represent your
people. Speak.”
Sam was completely thrown. But she started to speak
anyway.
“Daniel is…was…is a member of our planet’s defence
system. He is highly valued among my people for his wisdom and his knowledge.
He did not come here to die: we are explorers. We didn’t know this was the
Chosen’s world. Daniel was ill, yes; but he only had a cold!”
“The one you call Daniel had an unfamiliar toxin in
his system. It was at dangerous levels.”
Toxin? What on earth…the coffee.
“What you call a toxin is actually from a drink on
our world. Test me for it: I will have the same levels. Our doctor is
preventing us from drinking it for a time, so we don’t become ill.”
“Prevented? Restrictions? With the Chosen, Daniel
will know no restrictions.”
“Can you give him coffee? Artefacts to decipher?
New worlds to explore? No, you can’t. But we can.”
“You speak well for one so young. You are right: we
cannot give him these things. But why would he want them. He has no worries in
this place…”
“He has no existence in this place! He’s just here,
doing nothing, learning nothing…loving nothing.”
Sam said the last words with a bittersweet memory.
"So we have found the reason you fight for
him? You wish to have him back for yourself?"
"Yes... I mean no... I mean I would do
anything to get him back, but I am not the only one. I'm sure the Colonel and
Teal'c would say the same."
"So you are saying that you three would do
anything to save him?"
"Yes." She glanced around nervously,
hoping she wouldn't have to prove it, but strong enough to try if she did.
One of the Chosen, slightly smaller than the rest,
spoke up. "We have read her heart. We know she speaks the truth, there is
no need to test her."
"We should question him further. See if he can
show her how much better this existence is."
"I know Daniel. I know he'd always want to
come home."
"We will let him speak his mind. But after
that the decision is ours. You are still too young to know the implications of
what you choose."
"But..." Sam stopped as they stepped even
closer towards her.
"Do you believe that your life is merely a
path you follow? That every choice you make was the one you were always meant
to choose?"
"No. My life is mine. As Daniel's life is
his."
"That is what you may think, we would like to
think it, but what we know means we cannot always believe it. If he was
supposed to come here, if he was supposed to become one of us, who are we to
let him go?"
"Maybe you were supposed to let him go."
"Maybe we can't see that far ahead."
~
“What is this place?”
Sam stood in a long white corridor, staring at the
white walls, white chairs and white people drifting around. One of these white
people stepped beside her.
“We are showing you our existence in a form you can
understand. We cannot show you directly: only the dead can experience it.”
“Yeah, I think I’ll settle for the muted volume.”
The Chosen frowned, but just…drifted on. Sam
followed him, looking around her all the time. The beings were just floating
down this corridor, up and down, up and down.
“What do you do here?”
The being turned to her, and everyone else looked
at her too.
“We…we…I am not sure.”
The being looked puzzled, and Sam was confused.
“What do you mean you’re not sure?”
The being began to ‘pace’, floating backwards and
forwards across the corridor.
“We welcome the new Chosen and prepare them for
their life with us, for this existence. We do this, and there is not time for
other things.”
Sam felt that she was on to something, and she
wouldn’t let it go. Daniel’s life hung in the balance.
“But what could you do? If you chose to do anything
at all?”
The beings were whispering to each other, confused.
What was this mortal asking? What strange questions were these?
“Sam!”
A figure ran down the corridor – ran, on two feet,
mortally – dressed in light grey robes, and looking as fresh and handsome as
the day he’d died.
“Daniel!”
~
It had seemed hard to believe really. That the bolt
of lightning was planned, as a way of saving him from the painful existence of
life. Yet here he stood, face to face with Sam and all he could see were their
differences. No matter how hard he had protested at first, this experience had
to have changed him, didn't it? And he didn't like the way it was heading. He
had seen the Chosen, how they were so confident, so sure, and it was something
he instantly envied.
Even since joining SG1, even since admitting his
feelings for Sam, he had still felt something was missing. He knew that part of
his heart still belonged to Sha're and that part of him still dreamed of the
Abydonian desert and all the happiness that entailed. Nothing would ever change that, he thought, but then he came
here. He saw the Chosen and how they saw life with such clarity and purpose. How
they knew what every decision was worth. He wanted to stay. Badly. And as soon
as he met Sam's gaze, he knew it must be showing on his face. He knew he had
disappointed her.
~
So
that's it! Sam thought, I
come all this way.. and for what? For him to tell me he'd rather live with a
bunch of murdering aliens than come back to Earth with me. She was angry,
and scared and alone.
"Daniel... we'll get you out of here. Back to
Earth. Back to coffee."
Even that didn't seem to arouse much excitement.
"Sam, I know this is hard but..."
"But what? But 'Hi thanks for stopping by but
I've decided to live here instead of on my own planet?'"
"Let me finish, please. I've done it before
and it just feels right. Maybe no one can interfere with destiny."
Sam was shocked, had he been hearing all her arguments? Then she realised that it
was part of the damned crazy system here, that everyone knew what she had said.
That everyone knew what she was saying now. "Daniel, you had a chance to
be something even greater than what you were back on Earth, but here, you have
nothing?"
"I have peace, Sam. It's something I've wanted
for a very long time. It's not easy to find."
"Then why are you here now? Why don't you
leave me back in the real world, with all the other insignificant people? Don't
you care about anyone but yourself any more?"
"But I do care Sam, and that's what's making
it so hard."
"Then come away back with us. Please."
Silence. "They'll miss you. I'll miss you. Please?"
He slowly nodded, it was if a veil had been lifted
from his sight and the clouds that had been blocking the rainbow had gone. Sam
was what he needed now, wanted now. And his friendship with Teal'c and Jack
went far beyond the level of selfishness and greed. They had needed to depend
on each other for everything, and all three had made enough sacrifices since he
had met them. It was time for him to repay the favour.
She moved to hug him, but was blocked by a crowd of
the Chosen. "It is for us to decide, not yourselves. The trial is far from
over."
~
Jack was getting bored. Incredibly bored. The mad
alien dude had come back and then…Sam was gone. Zap, Kaput – nothing left. Dead
Sam? Well, she’d better not be. He got up and began to pace again, trying to
stifle tears. Teal’c sat meditating, but his eyes moved rapidly under their
lids. Bad dreams, thought Jack,
trying not to show his concern. Bloody
concern! Daniel’s dead, Sam’s gone and I can’t do a freakin’ thing!
“Teal’c, what’s the time?”
“Time is meaningless, O’Neill, when death is
concerned. However, it is two hours, seven minutes and thirty-six seconds since
Major Carter’s disappearance.”
Jack stared at the Jaffa for a moment, before
resuming his pacing. Some things weren’t meant to be understood…
~
“And why the hell not?”
Sam’s angry words earned her a quick tumble back to
the courtroom and Daniel’s dead body before her, tearing her heart into pieces.
Was this how it would be? Knowing Daniel to be dead, but still existing
somewhere, not with her, never? Sam had never been a great believer in
religious doctrine, but an afterlife…death was the end. But now…Daniel was
dead, yet somewhere on this planet. She pressed her hand to her temples, and
the throbbing pain that was still present from her drinking. Correction: their drinking. She yet again reached
out to touch Daniel’s face, seeing water trickle over the contours of his face.
“He feels no pain, knows no suffering and is
content: would you wish anything else upon him?”
Sam moved her fingers across his face, gently
wiping her tears off his still features.
“What if Daniel had never come here? What if he was
alive now? Do you think he would come here? To die?”
“But that is not the situation…”
“Answer me!”
"No. We have decided now. You must return to
your world."
"And Daniel?"
"He will remain here with us."
~
As quickly as she had gone, Sam appeared again.
Jack leapt towards her immediately, not needing to hear her explanation to
understand. He could tell. Daniel was gone. Utterly, irrevocably gone. Teal'c
just stood there, not knowing what to say either. Sam looked up and stared
straight at Jack, not knowing what to say. But she had to say something.
“Daniel’s not coming back. We have to go now.”
Sam, her face completely neutral, just turned and
walked towards the Gate.
“Jack, I’m
dying.”
The General looked at her for a moment, before
leaning back in his chair. His hair was completely grey now, something that
happened soon after Daniel’s death. And now he watched his best friend announce
her own death sentence.
“How long…?”
Colonel Samantha Carter just shook her head. Ever
since Daniel’s death, she had just got on with her job. Now, she was 47:
greying, losing her composure and standing on the brink of death. The last
twelve years had been completely meaningless: the Tok’ra were in deep hiding,
Apophis had died last year and the Asgard had officially included Earth in its
protectorate. The world was told about the Stargate about five years ago now,
and had taken it remarkably well. But without Daniel, everything was pointless.
Where joy had been, only calm composure remained. This was the life of Samantha
Carter – misery and despair.
“Not long. Jack, I’ve got one last request. I have
to do this.”
“Anything, Sam, just tell me.”
“I want to go to the Chosen’s world.”
Jack stared at her, blinking rapidly. Lose another
friend to the Chosen? Jack didn’t quite know how to take it. But, this was
Sam’s wish; it was all he could do for her now.
“Yes,” he breathed. Sam nodded to him, saluted and
walked out, tears welling in her eyes.
~
Sam walked into the Gate room, as the last chevron
locked. All her friends were there, lined up to say goodbye. She came to Teal’c
first, saluted him and then gave him a hug.
“We shall miss you, Sam.”
Sam nodded to him, moving on to Cassie. She was 24
now, a cadet in the Air Force. Sam saluted her too, before giving her a hug.
“I don’t know what to say, Aunt Sam.”
“Don’t worry, Cass, I don’t either.”
Cassie smiled at her, tears trickling down her
face. Sam walked across to Janet, who shook her head, before hugging her comrade,
bridesmaid, godmother to her daughters and best friend.
“Take care, Sam.”
Then, Sam came to her heart-breaking loss. Little
Ami, Janet and Jack’s ten-year-old daughter.
“I’ve got something for you, Ami.”
The solemn little girl nodded, as Sam gave her a
beautiful pendant necklace.
“Someone I loved very much gave this to me; I want
you to have it.”
Jack recognised that necklace: it was the one
Daniel had given Sam for her birthday. Ami nodded to Sam, before Sam picked her
up and hugged her tightly, finally letting tears fall from her eyes. She put
down Ami, and then faced her CO.
“It’s been a pleasure serving with you, sir.”
“Stuff that.”
Jack embraced her, wondering why his world was
falling apart again. Sam pulled away, turned towards the open Gate and walked
through, never looking back.
~
The Chosen’s world was just as she remembered it.
The tears were streaming down her face now, as the sky began to cloud over.
“Listen to me,” she screamed into the air, “I’m
back and I’m here to stay. I’m dying. Take me!”
Sam reached down to her pocket and removed two
objects. One was something she’d kept for twelve years – Daniel’s glasses. She
fingered them gently, before taking the other object and staring at it for a
moment. A knife.
She looked up towards the rapidly darkening sky, as
the first drops of rain began to fall.
“I’m coming, Daniel.”
Sam looked heavenward and plunged the knife deep
into her stomach. She choked doubling over, before falling backwards onto the
ground. The glasses fell from her grip, smashing the lenses into the rain. And
as Sam lay there dying, a bolt of lightening flew towards her…