EMAIL: demon_faith@btopenworld.com
CATEGORY: Sam/OMC, Sam/Daniel, Angst, Songfic, AU.
SPOILERS: Seasons 1-4 to be safe
RATING: PG-13
CONTENT WARNINGS: Violence, and graphic injury.
SUMMARY: Sam’s found the perfect romance…or has
she?
DISCLAIMER: If they were mine, I wouldn’t have to
write this. Unfortunately, contrary to my mental delusions, they belong to
other people who don’t know how lucky they are. Please don’t sue me: it just
ain’t nice. Lyrics from Evita belong to Tim Rice.
AUTHOR’S NOTES: This was started pre-Meridian, but
I had a little difficulty resurrecting my muse. (She was flattened by an array
of West Wing clones). I only happened to finish it by studiously avoiding MSN –
it isn’t a bad trick.
//I don’t expect my love affairs to last for long
Never fool myself that my dreams will come true//
Sam walked out of the SGC, and scanned the car
park. She was sure he would be there, waiting. He always waited.
She spotted the black jeep after a few moments, and
headed over, her heart beating in anticipation. She slipped into the passenger
seat, and turned to him. Oliver looked over, and smiled.
“You’re early,” he observed, leaning forward to
kiss her.
Sam responded, feeling sensation fill her. She had
never felt this way, so completely elated.
“I booked the table - you can change at my place.”
Sam blushed, the simple statement reminding her of
how lucky she was, to meet Oliver. He was everything she had ever wanted:
caring, passionate and completely overwhelming. His charm could power the SGC
for a year - and he was all hers. Tall, dark and undeniably handsome; he seemed
like a fairytale dream dragged into reality just for her.
When SG14 had been created, just two months
previously, Sam had been assigned to guide them through their first mission.
Colonel Oliver Marshall attracted her attention immediately, with his bravado
and desire to impress. When the supposedly peaceful planet had been revealed as
a Goa’uld stronghold, he had displayed the fearless leadership she had admired
in Jonas and continued to admire in Jack. They had escaped with only a few
scratches between them.
Sam was determined to find out more, dropping into
his office whenever possible. Soon, they were involved, and Sam had never been
happier. When she was with Oliver, he enveloped her, smothered her in a blanket
of love and she was swept along, her feet barely touching the ground. She could
lose hours in his arms, and spent every mission thinking about the next time
she would see him.
They were at his apartment quicker than she had
expected, and he waited outside while she went to change. As she walked in, she
marvelled at how she had changed this place. Everything precious to her was in
that room, moving over time to his place. Sam couldn’t remember the last time
she had been in her own house. As she changed, she looked at the photographs on
the mantle. There were a couple of Oliver and her, a few of his friends and a
picture of SG1. On the edge was a beautiful orchid that Daniel had given her
for her birthday. This was *their* home.
The words made Sam feel warm inside. She hurriedly
pulled on her jacket, and ran down to the jeep. Oliver tapped impatiently on
the steering wheel, and smiled when she emerged.
“You look gorgeous,” he gushed.
Sam smiled back, storing the compliment away in her
memory. It was a long time since she had been called gorgeous, or had been
complimented at all. She treasured every memory, every loving word - almost
unable to believe she was living this dream.
The food was excellent, the wine flowed like water
- but Sam could only study Oliver as he talked about his latest mission.
“The team archaeologist found some ruins to play
with. He delayed our time by five minutes - civilians are a damned nuisance.
What do you think, love?”
Sam was torn for a moment. Daniel was one of her
best friends, he had never been a nuisance to her - but she couldn’t risk her
relationship with Oliver over a petty argument.
“Yeah, they can be a real pain.”
Oliver smiled, and continued to eat. Sam watched
him, justifying her words to herself. She had met annoying civilians,
like…Robert. Yeah, she wasn’t lying, and Daniel…he could be…a pain, couldn’t
he?`
She realised Oliver was talking again.
“…be difficult having an alien on the team. I’ve
always found Teal’c a little wearing myself.”
He looked at Sam, waiting for a response. Sam
forced herself to look away, and continued eating.
“Sam, love? Is there something wrong?”
Sam looked into his eyes, noting the frown and
slight annoyance building in his eyes.
“No, Oliver. You have a…good point.”
The rest of the meal passed silently. Sam kept
glancing up at Oliver, but he kept his head down. Had he believed her? Could
she have ruined everything, with those simple words? And it wasn’t a lie, was
it? Teal’c could be…wearing, sometimes…occasionally, rarely, never? //Why does
he do this to me? I can’t lose him, but my friends…//
Oliver paid the bill, and they walked to the car.
The stars were out and the moon shone brightly down on them. Sam got into the
car beside Oliver.
“Thank you for the meal. It was delicious.”
“Are you coming back to my place?”
Sam hesitated. The question seemed free, but was it
really? She wanted this to work, she loved him so much…
“Sure, Oliver.”
He smiled again, and they drove off.
~
//Being used to trouble I anticipate it
But all the same I hate it
Wouldn’t you?//
Sam woke up, slightly disorientated. She blinked a
few times and then glanced over at the clock. //Okay, I have work in an hour!//
She tried to move, but found herself in a tangle of limbs and sheets. //Ah,
Oliver//
Slowly, she turned to face him, extracting herself
from his possessive grip. She dressed quickly, moving into the kitchen to grab
some toast and a couple of painkillers for her hangover.
Without thinking, she headed out of the door, and
got in her car. Driving to work, she regretted her ‘decision’. She should’ve
left a note - Oliver would worry about her. She fished out her mobile and
called the apartment. The answering machine picked up.
“Hey Oliver; it’s Sam. Sorry about this morning but
I have a mission. See you tonight - I’ll be back about 7. Love you, bye.”
Sam pulled up to Cheyenne, and put her mobile away.
A figure stopped outside the gates, waiting for her. She parked, and then
hurried over.
“Hey Sam - how did it go?”
Sam smiled, ignoring her guilt, instead
concentrating on the large pile of paper in his hand.
“Great. What’s with the paper?”
Daniel frowned slightly, as the gates opened and
they walked in, heading for the lift.
“Just a little research. This is going to be an
amazing planet - you’ll love it. Palm trees, unspoiled beaches and a couple of
temples. Oh, and there appears to be some Naquadah technology dotted around -
we can spend hours on this.”
His eyes were shining with delight and she had to
smile. How could she find him annoying, ever? When he spoke to her with such
enthusiasm?
“I picked this planet for today, cos I know you’re
away next week. We’re going to do the crimson world then.”
Sam almost stopped still. The ‘crimson world’, as
Daniel called it, was every archaeologist’s dream. Daniel had wanted to explore
it as soon as possible, yet he was waiting so she could visit her dream world.
She would never call him annoying again. Even if Oliver…Sam forced herself to
continue walking. Everything came back to Oliver.
“Good morning campers!”
They stepped out of the lift, to meet Jack and
Teal’c. Sam avoided Teal’c’s eyes.
“Hey Jack. When do we leave?”
“Well, Danny, you have half an hour! Get kitted up,
grab your toys and get moving!”
Sam looked up, to see Daniel try and salute Jack
with his arms full of paper. She allowed herself a smile, and went to help him
with the fallen paper. They looked up at the same time and bumped heads,
laughing.
“Sorry, Daniel.”
“No, I’m sorry, Sam.”
They picked up the paper, laughing to themselves.
They hurried to the Store Room and the armoury, and picked up their things,
talking about everything and nothing.
“Where did he take you?”
“Oh, a nice little restaurant in ‘Springs. The food
was great, and the wine…”
“Not feeling too good, then?”
The question threw Sam. How did he know? About all
those things she’d said, the lies she’d told…//Be sensible, Sam. He’s only
asking about the wine//
“A little headache, that’s all. I’ll be fine.”
He frowned. She’d been drinking quite a bit
recently, coming in with hangovers every other day. That worried him.
“Yeah, I know. Come on - we’re getting late.”
They arrived in the Gate room as the last chevron
locked.
“Cutting it a little fine today, kids?”
Sam smiled shyly, and Teal’c nodded to her. She
could’ve sworn he smiled. She swallowed down her guilt, and started up the
ramp. Daniel stood beside her, as always, perhaps a little closer than usual
but she was too wrapped up in herself…
They stepped through the Stargate, and Daniel
bumped into her slightly. She turned towards him, and for some unknown reason,
he jumped away. Then, gently, he prised the gun from her grip. She watched in
astonishment, as he flicked the safety on. He gave it back to her, a little
sheepishly.
“You must’ve forgotten, “ he said, quietly.
Sam stared at the weapon in horror. She could’ve
shot him - Air Force Majors did not forget the safety…
“Problem, kids?”
“No, Jack, we’re fine.”
Daniel took her arm and led her over to the first
set of ruins. She sat heavily on a broken column, shaking.
“Oh God, Daniel…”
“Not your fault, Sam…”
“How can you say that? I almost killed you…”
“But you didn’t, did you?”
Sam looked up, to find that Daniel had set up all
her equipment, as well as his own. She slid off the column, and sat on the
grass.
“What’s happening to me?”
Daniel stayed silent, knowing that Sam had to
figure it out for herself. She absently fiddled with one of her sample
containers, watching Daniel search for important artefacts.
//Why am I such a mess? To forget the safety…and to
be corrected by Daniel, only a civilian…//
Sam stopped herself. *Only* a civilian? //I’m
starting to sound like Oliver…//
And, deep in her heart, that thought scared her.
“Hey, Sam, I’ve got the generator!”
Sam rose to her feet, and moved towards the shout.
Daniel was scraping away at the soil, and she kneeled beside him. The dull
glint of Naquadah shone through the dust, and Daniel looked up at her in
delight.
“This was what the UAV picked up! Isn’t it
amazing?”
Sam choked back a giggle. //He’s been spending far
too much time with me!// She went back for her kit, thinking.
“Yeah, Daniel. This could be an amazing find…”
“D’ya wanna dig it out?”
“Yeah, save time later.”
No alarm bells rung, no thought for the
consequences - Sam was caught up. Not in the reactor - in Oliver. She had to
repay him somehow, a surprise perhaps…
Sam didn’t notice Daniel struggling with the
reactor, trying to disconnect the attached wiring. He pulled at the cable
connector, and the device began to hum. Sam snapped out of her daydream, and
turned.
There was a blinding flash of light, and Sam
shielded her eyes, ducking. She opened her eyes slowly, and gasped. She ran
towards the charred remains, now only concerned with the unconscious
archaeologist lying at her feet. She was about to reach for him, when she
noticed the loose wiring on the sand. //Electric shock? Damnit!//
“Carter! Daniel!”
“Sir!”
Jack and Teal’c thundered towards her, stopping
dead at the sight of Daniel.
“What happened?”
Sam stood perfectly still, the world fading from
her. All she could see was Daniel, limp on the ground. //My fault, my fault, my
fault…//
The words echoed in her mind, sending her to her
knees, sobbing.
“I’ve killed him, I’ve killed him…”
Jack exchanged glances with Teal’c, before moving
towards Daniel.
“NO! You mustn’t touch him!”
Jack looked up at her, as her tear-filled eyes met
his hardened stare.
“He could’ve been shocked. There might be residual
charge…it’s not safe…”
Sam spoke slowly, each word an effort, each thought
a torment. Jack backed away, and motioned to Teal’c.
“Get to the Stargate, and ask for a medical team.
Tell them to prepare for…electric shock.”
Sam buried her face in her hands, not wanting to
believe the reality. She had done this - she might’ve just murdered her best
friend. All because of him, all because of…
“O’Neill! The medical team is on its way!”
//Too late, too late…he’s dead…I killed him…too
late, too late…//
Sam’s mind whirled like a twister, everything
becoming nothing in a single instant. If she had killed him…she had lost
everything. Her confidant, her job, her…life. //But, I still have Oliver. But,
will he want a murderer?//
“What have we got?”
“Carter knows.”
Sam raised her head, as Janet looked at
expectantly.
“It’s a Naquadah reactor. He was disconnecting it.
It must’ve…overloaded, or something. There’s might’ve been a…failsafe. There
are wires…I’m not sure…he might be…”
“Okay, Sam, I can see. We’ll handle it.”
//A polite ‘get lost’. All I deserve//
Sam got to her feet, knocking away Jack’s helping
hand. She turned to watch, ignoring the protests and orders. An airman touched
him lightly with the ‘spark test’, a little metal rod that was held by a wooden
handle.
There was no spark. The medics moved in, checking
vitals and examining. They were busy, working, not declaring, not consoling;
working. //He’s not dead! I didn’t kill him!//
‘But you could’ve done’ a voice told her from
inside her head.
They prepared him for the stretcher, and Sam
watched in silence, noting every move. //It’s bad, it’s bad…I still might kill
him…I might have lost it all…//
They moved towards the Gate. Sam drifted with them,
a few metres away, hugging herself to make it all go away. //But it will never
go away//
They stepped through the Stargate, and she followed
close behind. It felt like a dream, a terrifying nightmare that she couldn’t
leave. She walked through the corridors, ignoring all comments and inquiries,
all people, all time.
She found herself outside the infirmary. She walked
through the doors, pushing aside the orderly who tried to stop her. She stood,
watching from a distance, as Janet finished with Daniel and drew the curtain.
She turned to Sam, who was still standing there, unmoving, paying no attention
to the man asking her to leave.
“Sam? Are you alright?”
“How is he?” she asked, steadily.
Janet watched the expressionless face, the blank staring
eyes and took in the taunt muscles that held her like a marionette.
“It’s bad, Sam.”
A dark black cloud engulfed her, fading the world
away. What had she done? How could she have left him? //Daniel, I’m so sorry…//
“How bad?” she said, shakily.
“He’s in a coma, Sam.”
“How…why…?”
Sam could feel herself closing in, being forced
out, away from Daniel. Janet’s arm on her shoulder barely registered.
“We’re not sure. We think the device did it.”
//The device. The one I should’ve checked. The problem
I should’ve seen. All my fault…//
“Can I…stay with him?”
Janet nodded, and left her. Sam slowly edged
forward, the world in mono, the dark cloud trying to stop her. But she
continued, reaching out to the curtain with a trembling hand. She drew it back
slowly, and stood there for a moment.
He lay very still, pale and fragile. The monitors
beeped slowly, the only indication he lived. He was on a respirator - keeping
him alive, trying to counter her mistake. //A mistake! Daniel could die through
a mistake! My mistake…//
His right hand was covered in bandages, where he
had touched the wiring, and there was a patch on his head. Sam swallowed,
before approaching. She sat beside his bed, feeling the cold metal but ignoring
it, and took his other hand, alarmed at the chill. She pressed his hand into
hers and watched. She had never seen him this still - he was always moving,
talking, laughing. And Sam knew about coma…//He may never wake up. He may never
move again. He may never speak another word. And I took it all away…//
“Carter?”
Sam turned, realising she was crying. Jack and
Teal’c stood by the curtain, watching. Jack took the chair on the other side,
frowning at the bandaged hand. Teal’c took up his ‘sentry’ beside Jack, and Sam
turned back to Daniel.
“It’s not your fault, Carter.”
“But, sir, I should’ve known! I should’ve stopped
him, checked it…”
“Nothing you could’ve done. I always tell him not
to touch stuff…”
The joke feel flat, but Sam smiled weakly.
“It’s alright, sir. I can take it - you don’t need
to humour me.”
They sat in silence, watching.
~
//So, what happens now?
So, what happens now?//
It had been twenty hours, four since Janet had last
tried to remove them. It wasn’t much of an effort, and she hadn’t the heart to
order them away. They sat, drawing strength from each other’s presence. Janet
had plied them with coffee every couple of hours, and General Hammond had
appeared whenever he could. A few bunches of flowers had appeared, and it was Teal’c
who had arranged them in vases.
It was about 5am, when Janet brought another round
of coffee. They took the proffered mugs, thanking her.
“You should rest, you know.”
There was no reply. Janet moved to leave, when
there was a faint sound. They all turned to Daniel. He struggled a little, and
Janet moved in, calling for assistance.
“Daniel, please lie still. You’re on a respirator -
we’re going to take it out. Hang on.”
Sam grasped his hand tightly, and felt her pressure
returned. Janet carefully, removed the tubing, and his breath came in short
gasps.
“Calm down, Daniel. Breathe slowly.”
His breath became regular, and steady, and there
was a collective sigh.
“Welcome back, Space Monkey.”
Daniel lay back, and frowned at Jack. Sam picked up
some ice chips from the table, and he smiled, trying to sit slightly. She
steadied him, and gave him a spoonful. He nodded gratefully, and Janet began to
disconnect monitors.
“You had us worried, Doctor Jackson.”
“Sorry,” he said hoarsely.
Sam smiled, and lowered the cup, still supporting
him. His free hand held her shoulder, as he surveyed the room.
“You look shattered,” he croaked.
Janet smiled, and collected up the various coffee
cups.
“You’ve been in a coma for twenty hours, Daniel.
They didn’t leave.”
He raised his eyebrows, and his face filled with
gratitude and embarrassment.
“Thank you,” he said, quietly.
They smiled warmly, happy and content. He was back
with them. Sam felt relief flow through her. //I didn’t kill him. But I
could’ve, murdered my best friend. How can I live with that?//
“Right, you all need to rest! I don’t want to see
you back for another ten hours! Daniel, I want you here for twenty-four hours
observation, and then no driving for another week. So, get some rest now.”
“Janet, I’ve been asleep for twenty hours…”
“No, you’ve been in a coma. Sleep now while you
have the chance - this lot will be back soon.”
Sam gently lowered him back down, kissing him on
the cheek.
“I’m so sorry, Daniel.”
“Not your fault, Sam. See you soon, right?”
“Of course.”
She left slowly, and he smiled at her. Jack and
Teal’c followed, reluctantly. Jack was already planning how to get back in five
hours, instead of ten.
“Don’t even think about it,” Janet said to him.
Sam smiled, and left for her quarters. She opened
the door, and found the frame beside her desk staring straight at her. In a fit
of rage, she slammed it down. //Why have you done this to me?//
She slept uneasily, her dreams filled with images
of a pale and fragile Daniel and an angry Oliver.
~
//Where am I going to?
Where am I going to?//
It was only 9am when Sam returned. The infirmary
was dark and depressive, and there seemed to be no one present. She moved
carefully, stealthily, like a lioness stalking her prey. Except she was the
hunted, wary of the angry doctor who would eventually chase her away. Sam
smiled to herself. //Extended metaphors - far too much time…//
She slipped into the cubicle, turning to close the
curtains with care. The rail creaked, and she winced.
“I wouldn’t worry. There’s only me, and Janet left
at nine”
Sam whirled round, to see Daniel staring back at
her, smiling faintly.
“You’re s’posed to be sleeping.”
“So are you.”
“Touché.”
Sam laughed softly, and sat beside him. His eyes
followed her, unfocused yet seemingly gazing into her soul. She just resisted a
shudder, and drew his glasses out of her pocket. She bent forward, sliding them
carefully onto his nose. He realised her intent and placed his hands over hers,
guiding the frame. //Unity, common goal, focus…am I turning into Daniel?//
Sam smiled at her own thought, and removed her
hand. Daniel frowned.
“What?”
Sam checked herself, and stared at him. The harsh
infirmary light paled his skin, emphasising his wild cerulean eyes. Her breath
caught, and time seemed to slow. Daniel was beautiful. //Oh, for Heaven’s sake!
I can’t call Daniel beautiful! It’s…weird//
“Nothing, Daniel,” she said, quietly, “nothing at
all.”
He smiled tiredly, settling into the pillow. Sam
rose slowly, and switched off the overhead light. As she turned, she felt his
glasses pressed into her hand.
“Okay, I get the hint.”
“You should rest now. You’ll need all your strength
for the crimson world.”
“Yeah, but that will have to be delayed, I guess.
Maybe SG-11 should take it…”
“Daniel!” cried Sam, in exasperation, “You are
going to that planet. Even if I have to drag you there myself!”
Daniel smiled sheepishly, something Sam found adorable
about him…//Adorable?!? Daniel? When did my wires get *this* crossed?//
“Sleep, now. I’ll be back later.”
“Thanks, Sam.”
Sam left the cubicle, almost colliding with Jack
and Teal’c.
“Major Carter, you are…early. It is not yet 3pm.”
Sam glared at the Jaffa, who smiled with
satisfaction. Jack ignored them, staring at the closed curtains.
“How is he?”
“Sleeping.”
“Ah, okay.”
There was silence for a few moments, and Sam
started to move away.
“Goodnight, Major Carter.”
“Goodnight Teal’c.”
“Goodnight Carter.”
“Goodnight Sir.”
“And John Boy too, for crying out loud!”
They turned towards the cubicle, with registered
shock. Jack opened the cubicle, and they all peeped round. He watched them
through the darkness, obviously exhausted yet amused.
“Who is ‘John Boy’, Daniel Jackson?”
“Don’t ask, Teal’c.”
“I thought you were going to sleep.”
“Yeah, well…”
By silent consensus, they pulled up chairs and sat
around. Sam handed Daniel his glasses, almost glad it had turned out this way.
SG-1, together - through pain and torture, through happiness and celebration -
almost a family.
//Scrap that. We *are* a family//
They stayed until Janet arrived back, at about
midday. She saw them all, the happiness practically radiating from their group.
They played poker, for the IV bags, before Daniel stopped them.
“You can’t let me win like this! Janet will think I
*want* more medicine!”
“I’m sure
that can be arranged.”
They all turned, all guilty smiles and a reluctance
to leave. Janet picked up the medication, and gathered up the cards.
“You can gamble later, when Daniel gets out of
here. Right now, you all should be…”
“Sleeping, eating et cetera, et cetera. Come on,
Doc!”
Janet shook her head, and left the cubicle. Jack
sat back in satisfaction.
“While the cat’s away…”
“The mice will sleep for at least eight hours!”
Jack turned, to see Janet brandishing a needle. He
swallowed guiltily, before standing slowly.
“Who am I to question the Almighty Needle? G’night
kids.”
“It is not yet evening, O’Neill.”
Jack glared at the Jaffa, who smiled. Sam got up
next, looking back at Daniel who was almost asleep.
“Get some rest, Daniel - I’ll take you home
tomorrow.”
“Thanks Sam,” he said, sleepily.
She smiled, and left the infirmary. Teal’c remained
with Daniel, meditating. There was peace for a moment in their chaotic lives.
~
//Time and time again I’ve said that I don’t care
That I’m immune to gloom, that I’m heart through
and through//
Sam woke up slowly, noticing the absence of
sunlight, headaches and…Oliver. She sat up, military-issue pyjamas sticking to
her body. She changed quickly, glancing at the clock. She stopped in shock.
//2am?!? I slept for FOURTEEN hours?!?//
She continued to dress, before heading for the
infirmary. Janet was preparing medication and fresh bandages, causing Sam to
wince. She had almost forgotten why Daniel was in there - because of her, one
stupid mistake…//Of many, Sam Carter. And he’s one…//
Sam shook her head to clear the memory, before
looking towards the cubicle.
“Is he still sleeping?”
Janet jumped, and turned to Sam.
“Yes, for almost as long as you. How are you
feeling?”
“Ask me later.”
Janet nodded with understanding, before moving
away. Sam drifted towards the cubicle, wondering what the answer to that question
truly was. What was she feeling? Anger? Hate? Guilt? She drew aside the
curtain, as another hand mirrored her action. She stood, facing him, and she
felt like she could crawl away and die.
Slowly, he raised his hand and gently wiped away
the tear that fell unbidden from her eye. His arms enveloped her, and they
stood together in silence. Sam felt the pain inside her, the monstrous guilt
and self-loathing that threatened to consume her. She buried her head in his
shoulder, forgetting herself for a moment.
“It wasn’t your fault, Sam.”
“Yes, it was. I could’ve stopped you. Because of
me, you could be dead right now!”
“But I’m not, Sam. I’m right here. Ifs and buts are
not going to change that, are they?”
“No, no they’re not,” she whispered. He held her at
arms length, and smiled. She had to smile back, and his grin widened. Sam felt
better, but she felt as if there was a debt - something she had to make up to
him.
“Daniel, I’m driving you home. And staying, until
you’re better.”
He raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. Sam felt
she had to clarify herself.
“Of course, if you want to be alone, that’s fine,
but I thought…”
“It’s a great idea, Sam. As long as you don’t
mind…”
“No, not at all,” she replied, firmly. Janet walked
towards them, and Sam separated herself from Daniel. Strangely, she felt cold
without his touch.
“I’ve made a list of everything I’ve packed and
when to take your medication, who will check up on you…”
“It’s okay, Janet. Sam’s staying.”
An air of satisfaction appeared on Janet’s face,
but she forced it down and smiled.
“Ah yes, of course she is. Well then, Sam, you can
change the bandaging. I’ll add that to the list.”
She whipped out her pencil, and added some neat
notes at the end of the paper. Looking up at them from the corner of her eye,
she smiled to herself. Sam helped Daniel with his jacket, doing up a couple of
buttons and smiling up at him. Her face looked radiant, and Janet had to stop
herself saying what a lovely couple they would make. Wordlessly, she handed Sam
the instructions and equipment.
“Thanks Janet. Tell Jack I’ll be around some time
next week.”
Janet smiled, still silent; afraid her mouth would
run away with her. When they were safely down the corridor, she sighed.
“A shame about Oliver,” she said, quietly.
~
//But every time it matters all my words desert
me//
They stopped at Sam’s house first, to collect some
of her stuff. She forced open the door, pushing aside the large pile of
unopened mail on her doormat. Daniel said nothing, but observed the gathering
dust and stale air filtering through the now-open doors. Sam had obviously been
nowhere near her house for weeks. She quickly collected a few sundresses
together and the odd pair of jeans. She found some old t-shirts and a beautiful
dress she stuffed away, but Daniel saw it. He soon realised that most of her
clothes were at Oliver’s, where she had been living for the past month or two.
He couldn’t see the orchid either - perhaps that was also at Oliver’s.
Daniel did not entirely trust Oliver - there was
something about him that made Daniel uneasy, and he was sure Oliver was hiding
something from them. He felt almost protective towards Sam - after all, he had
known her for about five years, and they were close. Very close.
He watched her, noticing her as if for the first
time. Her hair fell in soft waves, leading to the gentle slope of her neck. He
leaned against the wall, still watching. Her long, slender arms led to
beautiful, smooth hands, nails short but kept beautifully. The curve of her
hips would put any Greek goddess to shame and her skin was flawless. Her eyes
met his, dancing orbs of wonder. She smiled, puzzled for a moment. Daniel
sighed, and stood up properly.
“Ready?” he said, slowly.
“Yes,” she said, curious but reluctant to ask.
//Reluctant to ask? Story of our lives//
They walked out of the house, Daniel daring to slip
his arm around her waist. Sam started. //Daniel has his arm around my waist!
This isn’t real, this can’t be happening…why do I like it?// Puzzled, Sam
didn’t protest or comment, but made her way towards the car. When he let go,
she felt cold again, like she had in the infirmary. It confused her.
As they were driving, Daniel glanced across at Sam.
She seemed preoccupied. He wondered whether he had over-stepped the mark, gone
too far with a simple gesture. //Simple gesture? There’s no such thing//
They
arrived at Daniel’s place. Sam got out, dragging her bag with her. To any
outsider, they would look like a couple moving in together. //Only for a week.
Just as friends// Sam wondered if it would stay that way.
Daniel followed Sam, mesmerised by the swing of her
hips. He got in the doorway, and was then suddenly overcome with dizziness. Sam
turned, dropping her bags and grabbing hold of his arm and waist.
“Are you okay?”
“Just a little dizzy, that’s all.”
Sam carefully guided him to the sofa, and he sat
heavily.
“I’ll get you some coffee.”
Daniel sat on the sofa, eyes shut tightly, acutely
aware of the room lurching violently at odd angles. He heard Sam approaching,
and he slowly opened his eyes. She pressed a couple of tablets into his hands,
and he swallowed them dry. Gradually, the spinning stopped, and he could take
his coffee cup. His hand shook wildly and he was forced to put it down again.
Frustrated, he hit the arm of the sofa, and rested his forehead in his hand. He
felt Sam’s arm on his shoulder, and he looked up at her. She was smiling at
him.
“What?” he said, tersely.
“It’s okay, you know. You don’t have to act in
front of me. I know you’re ill - so, no pretence, okay?”
He pulled away his arm, and sighed. She smiled
again, and knelt in front of the sofa.
“Okay, coffee.”
She picked up the mug, and held it in front of his
lips. Slowly, she tipped it, and he sipped it carefully. Embarrassed, he pushed
her hand away.
“Daniel,” she said, placating, “This is me here.”
He sighed again, and she gave him the cup, laying
her hands over his. He drank deeply now, her hands steadying his, before he put
the cup down.
“Thank you,” he said, and then yawned.
“You, Daniel Jackson, need to sleep.”
“Sam, I’ve been asleep for 14 hours!”
“Daniel, you can only do so much!”
“But I don’t need to sleep,” he said, stubbornly.
Sam rolled her eyes, and went out of the room. She
returned with a blanket, and covered him in it. He glared at her, but she just
smiled and went over to the VCR.
“If you won’t sleep, we’ll watch movies instead.
What have you got around here?”
She pulled out his collection of Egyptian documentaries
and laid them aside. She passed by his Shakespeare series, and eventually came
to the action movies carefully hidden behind a pile of archaeology magazines.
“Are these Jack’s?” she inquired.
Blushing, he replied, “No, they’re mine. I just
hide them from Jack.”
Sam laughed out loud, before picking up a copy of
The Mummy.
“Egypt, action and romance - perfect!”
“And Brendan Frasier.”
Sam turned and glared at him. He laughed, and she put
in the tape. She moved away and sat beside him on the sofa. He smoothed the
blanket over her, as she leaned into his embrace. Sam had never felt so safe
and secure. It felt like a blanket of love had enfolded her. Daniel seemed to
feel it too. His shoulder relaxed, and they soon lost themselves.
About half-way through the film, Sam stopped the
tape.
"I'm hungry," she declared, "I don't
suppose you have any popcorn?"
"Second drawer on the right."
Sam got up slowly, aware now of sunlight filtering
through the curtains. She was about to grab the popcorn, when she realised that
she was supposed to be looking after Daniel. //Not feeding him popcorn at 6am
in the morning!//
She closed the cupboard and opened the fridge
instead.
"Keep watching the tape, Daniel," Sam
called over her shoulder, " I'm making breakfast."
"It's alright. We can watch it later."
Sam whirled around, to see Daniel leaning in the
doorway, watching her. She turned back, feeling her cheeks redden, and pulled
out a box of eggs and some bacon. She looked over the fridge again, frowning.
His hands fell gently on her shoulders and she could feel his breath on her
neck.
"I keep all meat on the bottom shelf."
"Thanks," she said, softly.
Sam turned slowly, until she was facing him. Her eyes
met his, and it was as if time stood still. He touched her face gently, kindly,
with a reverence that she had never seen before. Not even with Oliver.
She closed her eyes, savouring the moment. Was this
real? Could this be happening - her and Daniel? And, what about Oliver? //Let’s
forget Oliver// the voice of rebellion resounded through her mind. His lips
brushed hers, and a surge of raw energy shuddered through her. She opened her
eyes, as he pulled away. She took his head and brought him back. She kissed him
deeply, forgetting everything around them. The packet of sausages slipped from
her hand, and her arm went to his waist. The chill from the fridge was
stubbornly ignored, the creaking door pushed away from thought, the telephone
continued to ring…the telephone!
Sam broke away, indicating weakly to the hallway He
let her go, and she picked up the receiver with a shaking hand.
“Hello.”
“Carter! I see you and the Space Monkey disappeared
at 3am. So, just so you know you haven’t escaped, Teal’c and I will be round in
about an hour. That okay with you?”
Sam looked down at her watch and frowned. It was
almost 7 o’clock - exactly how long had she been kissing Daniel?
“Sure, no problem, sir. See you then.”
She put down the receiver, to see Daniel again,
watching.
“Jack?”
“Yeah, he’s coming round. Do you want to get
changed?”
//Why don’t we both get changed? Together? In the
shower?// Daniel shook his head, in despair. He couldn’t think like that - not
about Sam. The kiss had been amazing, and she didn’t know how much he wanted to
kiss her again. And again. But, she was with Oliver. Not with him. And never
would be.
“Yeah, I will.”
He walked despondently up the stairs. Sam watched
him, knowing she had upset him. Had it been too much? Should she have kissed
him like that, cheating on Oliver for an unwanted kiss? Oliver - she should see
him, explain herself. But Daniel needed her. //Because I messed up. He would
never need me the way I need him//
She walked back into the kitchen, and picked up the
sausages from the floor. A tear splashed over the wrapper, and she realized she
was crying. Hastily, she rubbed away the tears, and started to cook breakfast.
Soon, she had forgotten everything, immersed in the pleasant smells of the
kitchen. She could dream here - pretend it was their house, Daniel and her.
Kids at school, and their best friends joining them for breakfast. //I suppose,
one out of three isn’t bad// she mused, regretfully. She had given up her life
for the Stargate, for her career. A husband and family weren’t realistic, not
now, not ever. With these realisations, Sam turned off the oven. The doorbell
rang precisely on time, and she went to answer it.
“Hey Carter! Wow, that smells good!”
Jack sauntered in, carrying a bottle of wine. Sam
raised an eyebrow.
“Sir, this is breakfast. You don’t drink wine with
breakfast.”
“Who says?”
Sam rolled her eyes, and greeted Teal’c. He was
brandishing a large bottle of orange juice.
“I believed this was more appropriate for
breakfast.”
“Thanks, Teal’c,” Sam said, smiling, "I'll
just go and get Daniel."
Sam walked up the stairs, leaving Jack and Teal'c
to their own devices. She slipped through Daniel's bedroom door and he turned
to her, shirt in hand. She admired the tight jeans and taut muscles, brilliant
blue eyes staring at her, unmasked. He smiled at her, making his eyes dance and
sparkle. Sam felt like melting into the floor.
"They're here," she said, weakly.
"I know," he replied, still watching her.
Sam felt her face redden, as he moved closer, possessively staking her. She
felt something take hold of her, a wild hunting spirit that accentuated every
urge within her heart. He touched her face, and she pulled him in for a kiss.
She was lost in him - rich honey scent and sweet coffee on his lips. She pulled
back reluctantly, remembering their friends downstairs.
“Not now,” she whispered, her body shaking with
resistance. He released her, and smiled apologetically.
“I’m sorry, Sam, I shouldn’t have done that.”
She backed out of the door, wondering how she
could’ve lost control like that. She walked down the stairs slowly,
contemplating this myriad of emotions and people swirling around her.
“How’s he doing, Carter?”
She looked up at Jack, and locked down her emotion.
“Oh, he’s fine. He felt a little faint earlier, but
getting better.”
Jack nodded, and followed her into the kitchen. She
picked up a tray laden with bacon, sausages and fried eggs. He followed with a
pile of plates, and they made their way to the small dining room. Sam stopped,
as she saw Teal’c open the door, and a beautiful black cat stalk her way in.
“Daniel doesn’t have a cat, does he?” said Jack,
puzzled.
“She’s called Bast. And, yes, she is mine.”
Daniel descended the stairs, as Sam continued into
the dining room. She couldn’t spend too much time in his presence right now, or
the urge to take him right there and then would be too great. Jack followed, as
Daniel picked up the cat and Teal’c observed it shrewdly. Sam set down the
plates, and walked over to Daniel.
“Do you want me to feed the cat?” she inquired,
innocently.
“No, she’s alright - she’s been out hunting.”
Sam nodded and moved back to the table, where Jack
and Teal’c were already tucking in. Sam observed Daniel’s lack of appetite with
worry, but said nothing. The cat swirled possessively around his legs, glaring
at Sam. It was as if she could see into Sam’s soul. Sam observed the cat for a
while, almost oblivious to Jack and Teal’c’s conversation about women’s
lingerie. Suddenly, she realised Teal’c was discussing the merit of thongs over
briefs.
“Teal’c, what has Jack been teaching you?”
Jack smiled wickedly across the table, then leaned
over for a stage whisper.
“I didn’t have to teach him anything - he’s been
conducting his own research.”
Sam wasn’t quite sure how to take that, so she
wisely kept quiet. Daniel changed the subject quickly, and soon he was arguing
with Jack over the leave he had requested.
“I am not letting you anywhere near that woman!”
“The sarcophagus was destroyed, Jack. There’s no
harm in her, really.”
“She’s used us, sarcophagus or no sarcophagus.
Pah,” Jack pulled a face, “that word is too long.”
They laughed; Teal’c’s rich bellow drowning out
everyone else. Breakfast was over, and they sat around, talking themselves in
circles. Jack had denied Daniel access to every planet the archaeologist could
think of.
“You’re not serious! You can’t stop me going to
Abydos!”
“True, but Carter’s going with you.”
Sam looked up from her conversation with Teal’c,
deciding a vacation with Daniel was suddenly more interesting than the details
of Teal’c’s ‘research’.
“I don’t need a babysitter, Jack,” Daniel said,
slowly, careful not to sound too convincing.
“Yes, you do! You would jump off a cliff if it said
‘Artefacts - this way!’”
Daniel glared at Jack, but soon caught Sam’s eye.
She stopped herself from blushing, but could feel the room get increasingly
warmer.
As it got later, Sam sent Jack and Teal’c into the kitchen
to make lunch. She had decided long ago that she would never let them think she
was ‘the woman’. She sat heavily on the sofa, and soon Daniel joined her. He
gently placed his hand on her leg, and sent shivers up her spine. She couldn’t
help herself, and brought his head down to hers. She was soon lost in his
kisses, feeling herself slip down, pulling him down with her. She was aware
that Jack and Teal’c were only a room away, but couldn’t seem to break away.
Suddenly, there was a shout from the kitchen.
“It’s ready!”
Daniel pulled away, sighing deeply, before helping
her up. Sam straightened out her clothes and hair, before moving towards the
kitchen. She felt guilty, caught necking with the boy next door. Her mind
flashed briefly to Oliver, and she felt remorse. She was cheating on him, the
guy she thought was truly the one. But now she was discovering these feelings
for Daniel, intense unwavering passion, and a final piece of the frustrated
puzzle of her life. She had to tell Oliver it was over - but she knew the
intensity of his anger, his annoyance at the slightest error or mistake. And
this would figure pretty highly on his list of grievances. She pushed those
thoughts from her mind, as they picked up the salads.
They had put together quite a spread, and even
Daniel found his appetite. When it was over, Sam decided they should all go out
shopping and then catch a film. They were all in agreement, and headed over to
the mall in Jack’s jeep. Sam had great fun dragging the guys around the clothes
stores, and then forcing them all into Ann Summers. She had never seen Teal’c
go so red when she suggested he buy some lingerie for his pet project. However,
he did buy some in the end, leaving Sam wondering whom he was buying it for.
They stopped in a restaurant for dinner, and Sam
decided she had never had a better day. It was rare to have a day off, and even
rarer for them to have time to go out together. Jack insisted on going to see
some mindless horror film, but Sam didn’t care. She buried herself in Daniel’s
jacket, not caring whether Jack and Teal’c saw or not.
They all crashed out at Daniel’s place, which
always had space for a few extra people. Jack and Teal’c took the twin guest
room and Sam took a few blankets down to the sofa. It was nearly midnight when
Sam settled herself down. She was almost immediately disturbed by movement in
the kitchen. She got up slowly, shaking off sleep, and went to investigate.
Daniel was pulling out coffee, and she sighed deeply. He turned and blushed
deeply. He lifted his hands slowly.
“Caught red-handed.”
“Shouldn’t you be asleep?” Sam said, reproachfully.
“Can’t seem to rest.”
“Have you taken your painkillers?”
Daniel lowered his head guiltily, and Sam sighed again.
She pulled out the bottle and a glass of water, as he watched her. He knew she
was with Oliver, but recent events had uncovered this maze of feelings he had
never felt before. //Not even with Sha’re// his mind supplied dutifully. Guilt
rose within him - he shouldn’t think like that. But he could only grieve for so
long, and Sam touched him more than he could say.
She handed him his painkillers, studying his face.
She released how tense he had been, almost rigid with pain, and berated herself
for not watching him more closely. She had left the spare dressings in his
room, and she dragged him upstairs, sans coffee, to re-dress his hand.
Carefully, she unwound the bandage, apologising for every wince he gave. She
cleansed the raw skin and took out a fresh bandage. When his hand was bound,
she moved towards the door. Abruptly, she felt his hand on her neck, swinging
her slowly round. His hands lowered to her waist, and they stood there for a
few moments, drinking in each other. And then she kissed him.
The fire they had dampened all day was suddenly
fanned into to a blaze and they were caught in its intensity. She pushed him
onto the bed, lost in adrenalin and passion, forgetting herself in this tirade
of emotion. Clothes were lost in the frenzy, and they became one.
~
//So, what happens now?
So, what happens now?//
Jack made his
way downstairs, stretching and yawning. He put his head around the lounge door,
but the cover was folded back neatly. It was obvious that no one had slept
there. He walked into the kitchen, discovering the light on and a coffee cup
standing by the kettle, jar beside it. Someone had meant to come back, and
never had. Jack looked up the stairs thoughtfully. Teal’c appeared at that
moment, and joined Jack downstairs.
“Where is Major Carter?”
“I don’t think we want to be asking that question.”
Teal’c raised his customary eyebrow, but said
nothing. Moving in stunned silence, they made breakfast.
~
Sam shifted restlessly, realising immediately that
someone was with her. She looked across at Daniel, and smiled. For once, she
had woken up without a hangover or a sense of uncertainty. She was sure that
this was where she was meant to be - beside Daniel. He lifted his good hand and
rubbed his eyes. It was then Sam realised that his glasses were lying smashed
against the bedside lamp. Pushing that from her mind, she crept slowly up his
chest, kissing him softly. He opened his eyes sleepily, and smiled up at her.
“Good morning.”
“’Lo Sam. What time…?”
Sam shifted herself to study the clock, eyes wide.
“Um…it’s 9:30!”
“In the morning! Ok, shouldn’t we be moving? Before
Jack…”
They both looked at each other in silent horror.
Reluctantly pulling herself away from Daniel, Sam dressed quickly, before helping
Daniel with his shirt. They moved downstairs warily, dreading the thought of
confronting the Colonel. They made it to the kitchen, and then they were
ambushed.
“Carter.” Sam whirled around, “Daniel. I think we
need a little chat.”
Led like two childish miscreants, they sat down
with Jack and Teal’c, both of whom were looking very serious.
“I would like you to explain what the hell is going
on,” Jack said quietly.
Sam and Daniel looked at each other, before they
broke into smiles.
“We're disrupting the unit."
"Fraternising outside regulations."
"Just asking for reassignment."
"Court martial."
"It's worth it."
"Hell yeah!"
They looked back at the rather stunned faces of
Jack and Teal'c. Then, Jack’s face cracked into a smile, and he got up, dragging
them to their feet and enveloping them in a hug.
“It’s about time! But…what about…?”
He trailed off, and Sam walked away. Daniel
suddenly found the floor fascinating, and Jack backed off, hands raised.
“Ok, Danny boy, I get it. Just…play it cool.”
“This is Sam, Jack. I’m not going to…risk this.”
“Yeah,” Jack patted his back, and noticed that
Teal’c was no longer with them. He sat down with Daniel in companionable
silence, a hand on his shoulder. No one deserved happiness more than Daniel –
he just hoped he knew what he was doing.
~
//Where am I going to?
Where am I going to//
“Teal’c, please, I don’t…”
Sam brushed out her short hair, eyes not leaving
the mirror. The Jaffa’s large shape loomed in the mirror, and Sam tried not to
look at him. She knew what she was doing, she hoped. She just had to tell
Oliver that it was over, that he didn’t interest her anymore. And then he would
see her with Daniel, and she didn’t trust his temper. It hurt her – that she
had deluded herself into thinking he was The One, when Daniel had been right
under her nose. She shook her head, dreading the day she’d have to tell him,
knowing it would be all too soon.
“Samantha, you love Daniel Jackson. You care about
Oliver, but it is not the same, is it?
I know…of what I speak.”
She turned and smiled tearfully at Teal’c. Of
course he knew – he had loved a woman who was not his wife, only to have her
cruelly torn away. He understood her fear, her uncertainty – she knew he would
not judge her. She let him draw her into his arms, and they stood there for a
few moments.
Jack watched them for the doorway, and blew air
through his lips. This was not how it was meant to be. Sam and Daniel both
deserved better than what life had thrown at them, yet there were still
obstacles, still looming patches of darkness before they had even really
started.
All he knew was that they needed time. Private
time.
“Teal’c? We’ve gotta give Doc Frasier that update.”
The Jaffa pulled away, and smiled at Sam. She wiped
her eyes again, and smiled back.
“Daniel? We’re going!” Jack yelled, and Daniel
stumbled through, his spare glasses sitting awkwardly on his nose. Sam caught
hold of him, and they smiled at each other. Jack motioned to the door, and
Teal’c followed, leaving them alone.
Sam led Daniel back to the sitting room, where they
both sat on the couch. Sam took Daniel’s uninjured hand into her lap, laying
both hands on top.
“This is a promise, Daniel. I’m staying with you.
But we can’t…be together for a while.”
“I understand, Sam,” he said, quietly, meeting her
eyes, “Just don’t let it be too long.”
Sam blushed, and Daniel kissed her. The kiss was
soft, an expression of trust and love. Sam didn’t think she’d ever been kissed
like that before. This wasn’t a fight, a battle of wills between officers, but
a mutual respect and a newfound love. Sam liked this much better.
The doorbell interrupted, and Daniel groaned.
“We need to disconnect that thing.”
“And the phone,” Sam added, as she rose to answer.
Janet smiled widely at her, swinging her medical
bag in a carefree gesture that screamed ‘I know! I know!’.
“Yeah, knew he couldn’t keep that to himself,” she
muttered, as she let Janet in.
Daniel entered the hall, and Janet looked at him
with mock anger.
“Why, Doctor Jackson, what are you doing out of
bed? I thought Sam would’ve…”
“She knows, Daniel,” Sam said before Janet could
complete that thought. Daniel mouthed an ‘Ah’ of understanding, and held out
his hand for inspection. Janet walked straight past, and Daniel sighed. //As if
I didn’t know why she was here//
They sat across from Janet, immediately feeling a
sense of interrogation. And déjà vu.
“How long?”
“What?” squeaked Sam. Janet rolled her eyes.
“How long have you two been together?”
Daniel checked his watch, before glancing at Sam.
“Kiss?”
She nodded, and turned to Janet.
“Day or so.”
Janet raised an eyebrow.
“That it?”
Sam and Daniel exchanged glances, then looked back
at Janet.
“You were expecting more? Two or three days?”
“Try a year.”
Their faces sported identical looks of confusion,
and Janet burst out laughing.
“Obvious to everyone but you, I take it.”
When she realised they weren’t going to break the
silence anytime soon, Janet slipped out of the door. The bang of the front door
shocked them out of their reverie, and they looked at each other.
“A year?”
“I thought I hid it better than that.”
“Yeah, me too.”
The absurdity of those statements hit them, and they
burst out laughing.
“You mean we could’ve…”
“A year…”
They sobered quickly, remembering the situation
they were in now. Sam got up to make coffee, and the conversation ended.
~
//So anyone can hurt me and they do//
The week flashed by so quickly that before they
knew it, work and their immediate problems were looming just around the corner.
Between the park, the movies and the laughter, the inevitable confrontation
hovered over them like a raincloud.
With only a few hours before their return to work,
Sam brought up the subject they were both avoiding.
“I have to see Oliver tonight.”
Daniel looked up from his coffee with an unreadable
expression.
“You want me to come with you?”
Her whole being screamed ‘yes’, but she shook her
head. He nodded, and she picked up her keys. He walked towards her and laid his
hands on her shoulders.
“I love you, Sam. Just remember that.”
She smiled, and kissed him gently. They broke
apart, and she headed out into the night. She brought a couple of boxes and
some carrier bags, mentally checking their number and fussing over volume
equations and weight. Her mind darted away from thoughts of Oliver, her heart
praying that he would be on duty that night.
The lights shone from his windows, and she sighed
to herself. She was a Major in the United States Airforce – she could do this.
Climbing the stairs, her footsteps were heavy and when she reached the top, she
hesitated. What was she thinking? Could she do this? This had seemed like the
perfect relationship, but now the illusion shattered before her eyes. She could
have Daniel, her best friend, her secret love, and her always unobtainable
prize. And yet, there he was, hers, possibly forever, and she was pausing
before the threshold?
She shook her head and pulled out her key, shoving
it roughly in the lock. She turned it quickly and pushed open the door. He
stood there, swaying slightly, glaring at her. She swallowed and stepped
inside.
“I’m here for…”
“What took you so long, love? I’ve been waiting for
you.”
She hesitated. Did he not know? Was he playing
games with her, like he’d always done?
“I came for my stuff, Oliver.”
His eyes clouded over, and he grimaced.
“Ah yes, you did. You think you can live without
me? Go back to your precious team – a civvie, an alien and a jackass? Scum,
Sam, and you know it. You don’t want to do this.”
“I’m leaving you, Oliver. You can’t change that.”
He slammed
his hand into the wall and she jumped. She tried to defend herself but the
boxes hampered her movements. He sprang forward and knocked her sideways
through the coffee table. One kick, two punches, body screaming to make it
stop. She struck out with the heel of her palm, and he was stunned. She tried
to stand, but he pinned her against the wall and grabbed a near vase.
//Daniel’s orchid// she thought dumbly, as he struck at her head and the world
faded to black.
~
//Call in three months time and I’ll be fine, I
know
Well, maybe not that fine, but I’ll survive
anyhow//
Daniel
slammed his fist on the desk. It had been three hours since Sam and left, and
there was no word from her. //If he’s touched her…//
Daniel couldn’t break from his secret fear that
Oliver had hit her, that she was somehow trapped. He had disliked Oliver from
the beginning, but had convinced himself that it was just jealousy and that
he’d have to get over it. Now, he wasn’t so sure.
Making a decision, he grabbed his coat and headed
for his car. Driving without care for speed restrictions, he arrived at what he
knew to be Oliver’s apartment. He thanked whatever paranoia had convinced him
to memorise the address, and stepped out of the car. Sam’s car stood in front,
and there were no lights in any of the apartments. For one wild moment, he was
convinced that she had run away with Oliver and it had all been an elaborate
joke, but he remembered their first kiss and all doubt melted away.
He sprinted up the stairs and stared at the door in
front of him. It was half-open and a key still sat in the lock. He pushed it
open gently, and stared at the wreck of a table before him. A faint whimper
drew his attention, and he dived towards it. Her body lolled against the wall,
bruises forming on her beautiful face. He caressed his thumb across her
bleeding lip, but she didn’t stir. He checked for a pulse, and breathed a sigh
of relief.
He checked her carefully, noting the give in her
right leg and arm. He picked up the telephone and called 911. He gently stroked
her hair, whispering to her about all the things he would give her, all the
times of theirs he could remember and how much he loved her. When the ambulance
crew arrived, he reluctantly stepped aside and let a police officer question
him.
“You just happened to find her?”
“No, I knew she was coming here. She’d broken up
with her boyfriend and was collecting her stuff.”
The officer looked around the room, noting the
picture of SG1 and the ornaments on the mantle.
“She still lived here?”
“Not for a week now. I had…an accident, and she was
taking care of me. She’s my best friend.”
Daniel looked over to Sam, who was now being lifted
unto a stretcher. He looked at the officer, who nodded, and then stepped across
to Sam. He took her hand, stroking his thumb over the back. The blood from her
lip stained it, leaving a mark. He almost shouted in frustration – how many
scars would there be? Would she wear them with pride, or hide them like an ugly
scald? Daniel thought of the strong, brilliant woman he knew – if Oliver had
changed her, diminished her in any way, there would be Hell to pay.
The ambulance
ride was swift, but to Daniel it seemed to never end. He held her hand tightly,
willing her to wake up, but she didn’t stir. To think of her amazing mind,
locked away behind a shutter, stolen because of *him*. It was unbearable to even
consider it.
She was soon
surrounded by doctors and nurses, and taken beyond his sight. He tried to
follow, but a nurse gently restrained him.
“Sir, I need
you to give me some information. Sir?”
“Yeah,” he
said, distractedly, adjusting his glasses nervously and licking his lips.
“The
patient’s full name?”
“Major
Samantha Louise Carter.”
“Her place of
residence?”
Daniel was
momentarily torn. What address could he give? The nurse noticed his hesitation
and frowned.
“Sir?”
“She
maintains a residence, but has been living with her…boyfriend,” he said with
venom, “However, for the last week, she’s stayed with me. If - *when* - she
comes home, she’ll stay with me. So…uh…which address do you want?”
The nurse
looked at him as if he were mad. A call from another room, and she ran towards
the problem. Daniel sat heavily, a mixture of emotions roaring through his
veins. He sat perfectly still, unable to comprehend what was happening. Was
this the first time? Why was Sam with him? Did she defend herself, hurt him?
“Sir?”
Daniel looked
up, as a new nurse appeared.
“You’re with
the attack victim?”
Daniel
flinched and nodded.
“You’re a
relative?”
Daniel blew
air through his lips.
“Boyfriend.”
The nurse
smiled weakly, and guided him to a nearby room. Suddenly, Daniel panicked –
what was she going to tell him? She wasn’t that bad, surely? She couldn’t
have…died?
“Calm down,
sir, she’s stable. Don’t worry.”
Daniel let
out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding.
“It’s
Daniel,” he said finally.
“Daniel,” the
nurse said carefully, “Samantha is in intensive care right now. We think she
has fractured her arm and lower leg. She received a blow to the head, and
that’s why she still hasn’t regained consciousness. We’ll get her X-rayed when
she wakes up.” She let Daniel absorb that information, before continuing, “You
can sit with her, if you like.”
He stood
quickly, nodding, and she led him through the hospital corridors.
“Is there
anyone you’d like me to contact?”
Daniel
thought for a moment.
“Her father
is…difficult to contact. If you leave a message with Cheyenne Mountain
regarding her condition, they’ll get a message to him.”
The nurse
nodded, seemingly used to strange requests regarding the Mountain, and stopped
before a door.
“There are a
lot of machines in there, but it’s not as bad as it looks.”
Daniel knew
the nurse was trying to be kind, but his experience had taught him that it was
exactly as bad as it looked. The nurse opened the door, and let him pass
through.
Slowly, he
stepped towards her, watching the steady rise and fall of her chest. Her head
was bandaged and her arm and leg were strapped carefully. He sat on a chair to
her left, and took her hand in his. The bloodstain had been cleaned away from
her hand, but he realised that his thumb was still stained. He held it gently,
as if afraid that she might break, and began to whisper softly.
“I’m here,
Sam. Nothing is going to come between us, nothing. I believe in you, Sam. It’s
time to come back now.”
He paused for
a moment, but she didn’t stir. He gripped her hand tighter.
“Sam, you
have to wake up. I need you. We’ve just found…this…wonderful thing, and you
can’t leave me here, wondering. We’re going to grow old together, Sam. We’re
gonna see the world together, have kids, solve every problem science can throw
at us.”
He realised
then that his tears were splashing on her bed. He pulled his sleeve across his
face, and leaned closer to her head.
“I love you,
Sam. Come back to me.”
He leaned
forward and kissed her lips softly.
“GET AWAY
FROM HER!”
Daniel jumped
back as if shot, to see Oliver standing in the doorway. There was a police
officer standing just behind him, but Daniel didn’t notice as he leapt to his
feet.
“How dare you
come here! After what you did to her, how could you!”
Daniel
stepped forward, the air seeming to fizzle from the tension. Oliver pointed an
accusing finger.
“No, it was
*you*, Doctor Jackson. You did this to her. And to have the nerve to accuse
*me*…”
“ME?!? I
never got her so drunk she couldn’t see straight, I never guilted her and I
would *never* hurt her!”
The police
officer didn’t really know what to think, except that these two men looked likely
to start hitting each other at any minute. He stepped between them, as a nurse
came to investigate the noise.
“That is
enough!” she said sharply, and both men quietened.
“Yeah, stop
already. My head hurts.”
They all
turned to look at Sam, who was watching them intently.
“Sam!” Daniel
and Oliver called in unison, and moved towards her, only to have the officer
grab their shoulders.
“Ma’am, did
either of these men attack you?”
“Officer, I
object to my patient…”
“Him.” Sam raised
her left arm shakily, and pointed at Oliver.
“No, Sam,
you’re confused. It wasn’t me, it was him…”
“Shut up!”
Daniel and Sam cried together. The officer released Daniel, and he stumbled
blindly towards Sam, kissing her hand gently.
“Hi,” he said
shyly.
“Hi,” she
whispered back.
~
“Daniel, I
don’t need a wheelchair.”
“And how else are you gonna leave?”
Sam sighed, realising that he was right. She looked
down at her plastered leg and arm, and cried out in frustration. This was
absurd! She couldn’t move, she couldn’t do a thing, and it was all because of
her own stupidity…
“Sam, it’s okay.”
She looked at Daniel, who had knelt in front of
her. He lifted her chin, and carefully brushed away her tears. He took her face
gently in his hands, and kissed her softly, tenderly.
“I’m here for you, Sam. Always.”
“Is that a promise?” she said, only half-joking.
“That’s a promise,” he said seriously.
With a carefully practiced swing, she was in her
wheelchair, and they set off down the corridor. They emerged into the brilliant
sunlight, and he wheeled her to his car. With the gentlest touch, he guided her
into the front seat, and she rolled her eyes.
“Daniel, I’m not an invalid!”
He looked at her with such sincerity and love that
she was lost for words.
“Sam, this is a debt. You have been that most
wonderful friend, nurse and lover any man could wish for. It’s my turn to do
the same for you.”
Before she knew it, more tears escaped her eyes,
and he bent down, thinking something was wrong.
“Daniel, there’s no debt! I love you – that’s why
I’m there for you!”
“And me for you,” he said, smiling at her.
The journey home was short, and Sam took in the
view as she passed. It looked like just another day, another view of Earth from
behind a window or television screen. This was her home, her native world, the
place where she should feel safe. She looked across at Daniel, and he glanced
away, guiltily.
He had taken to studying her, drinking in her
beauty and wishing he could touch her. Not the reassuring clasp of a friend,
but the caress of a lover. And now, to live the dream, to have it almost
shattered, had scared him into just looking. Distance, he reasoned to himself,
was what Sam needed.
Sam looked at him, smiling at the pinkish tinge to
his cheek. The car came to a halt, and she reached out her hand to trace his
jaw. He shivered, and turned to her, searching her eyes.
“You’re quiet,” she said.
“Just thinking,” he replied, shrugging
nonchalantly.
He pulled away and got out of the car. Sam sighed.
He was concealing something from her, she knew that, but what? He opened her
door, and helped her into her chair. She wheeled away one handed, turning the
chair to face him.
“What’s going on?”
“Inside, Sam.”
His voice was saddened, tinged with anger, and Sam
followed him inside. He set down her bags, and shut the door. Pushing her into
the sitting room, he sat on the chair opposite her.
“It was your word against his.”
Sam shut her eyes. She knew this would happen, she
had known it would come to this.
“Where is he?”
Daniel didn’t answer her question, but kept
talking, eyes averted.
“The best they would manage was a restraining
order. General Hammond dismissed him, but he’s still…”
“Yeah.”
The silence was heavy, weighted with guilt, anger
and regret. She had hoped it would be simple. Vanquish the bad guy, and happy
ever after. Sam shook her head. Her life had never been that simple – why
should it start now?
She thought Jonas was the one, but even when she
had ended it, he came back. Too many people died, she should’ve realised that
what she had liked about Jonas and Oliver was also what she hated in them.
“Sam?”
Daniel’s voice gently drew her back to the present,
and the man sitting in front of her. The most amazing man she had ever known –
even before she laid eyes on him, she had fallen in love with his mind. He had
achieved the impossible, earned the respect of those whose hearts were hardest,
and lost everything he had ever had. Now, he had her, and she would never be
responsible for causing him another loss. Never.
“He won’t come back, Daniel,” she said with as much
conviction as she could muster.
The doorbell saved him from making a reply, and he
stood up to get it. A few seconds later, Hurricane Tok’ra surged into the room.
“Sam! Oh God, are you alright?”
Her reached down and hugged her, and she clung to
him like a little girl. Daniel stood back, away from her, detached. Damn, she
wasn’t going to lose him!
Jacob broke away, sensing her pain, and followed
her gaze to Daniel. He stood up straight.
“Daniel? A word?”
Daniel obediently followed him into the corridor,
sensing what was to come.
“I have faith in you,” Jacob said, and Daniel
blinked. That wasn’t it.
“Uh…you…” Daniel waved his hand around and
spluttered.
“I trust you, Daniel. If that scum comes near her…”
“He won’t breathe.”
Jacob nodded, stunned by the barely-contained fury
in Daniel’s voice. He patted his shoulder, and they went back to Sam, who was
unravelling the threads of the sofa.
“You finished interrogating my boyfriend?”
Daniel smiled, warmth spreading through his body.
//Sam’s boyfriend…*I’m* Sam’s boyfriend!//
Sam coloured, realising how she sounded, almost
surprised about how she loved talking about him as *her boyfriend*.
Jacob smiled to himself. Selmac’s commentary was
most amusing, though where the symbiot picked up phrases like ‘damn fine’ and
‘cute ass’ was beyond his comprehension.
“Yep, all done. I like what you two have done with
the place – very…eclectic.”
Sam looked around, and gasped. It was all back – every
item she had taken to Oliver’s was arranged in some place. Her favourite china
doll sat next to the fish tank, and Bast was curled up beside her CD rack.
“You went and got them?” she said, in a stunned
voice.
“Yeah, I did. Your clothes are upstairs, books in
the study and the mechano is in the kitchen.”
Sam continued to stare, as she noticed the minute
changes, the new ornaments, the painting on the wall. He had made this their
home. He had removed her from Oliver. She owed him…everything.
“I couldn’t find the orchid,” he said softly.
Her body tensed, and she stopped searching. The
sounds of breaking china assaulted her ears, and she forced herself to breathe.
“It broke,” she said tersely.
He nodded, and suddenly his face cracked into a
smile.
“Coffee, anyone?”
Jacob and Sam both nodded, and he left the room.
Jacob turned to her, shaking his head softly.
“It won’t go away, Sam.”
She looked up at him, questioning, though really
just delaying. She knew this, had heard the voice in her head reciting textbook
symptoms, but she shut it away. If she just ignored it…
“You can’t ignore it, Sam,” her father persisted,
in an amazing show of telepathy, “Sooner or later, you won’t be able shut it
out, and then, Sam…”
“I know, Dad,” she said quietly.
He looked up at her, “Do you?”
“He fought so hard for this! He knew it would be
trouble, and he stayed. He’s still staying – what can I say to him? ‘Damaged
goods – back off’?”
“You never have to say anything.”
Daniel stood in the doorway, watching her with a
look that was neither ignorant nor pitying, but purely devotional. She could
take on the universe with his smile to come home to.
“We’re going to talk to Janet. Together. I won’t
leave you, Sam.”
Jacob shut out Selmac’s mental ‘awwww’ and
concentrated on the reaction of his daughter. She was still avoiding Daniel’s
gaze.
“And what…what if it’s…something?” the last word a
whisper, an impossible scenario, nothing she could admit.
He set down the tray, and sat across from her,
taking her hand firmly between his two. Jacob suddenly felt like an intruder on
a private moment.
“After my parents…I was…but I’m here…there’s no
shame in admitting you’re human, Sam.”
She smiled at him, understanding what he was
telling her, knowing how painful it was to share. They could do this. She
leaned in to kiss him, but was interrupted by a sudden cleared throat. They
turned, and Sam blushed crimson. There was something about parents that made
you feel about five years old.
“I’ve gotta be getting back, but you kids…take
care.”
Jacob kissed Sam’s cheek, and clasped Daniel’s
shoulder. He stood to show him out, but Jacob stopped him. He left quickly, so
that only they remained.
“We’re gonna have trouble getting you upstairs.”
She swatted him lightly, “I’m not that heavy!”
“I don’t want to hurt you. Maybe we should bring
the camp bed down.”
Sam pouted. “I’m bunking with the cat instead of my
boyfriend?”
Daniel chuckled, as Bast leapt onto Sam’s lap,
apparently sensing her part in the conversation.
“She likes you,” he observed, “ a cat with taste.”
“She stuck with you.”
“I take it back,” he said, and Sam laughed. It felt
good to laugh – despite the pain in her side, it felt good.
He tucked her hair behind her ear where it had
fallen out of place, and she trailed a finger across his wrist. He paused, as
she placed a kiss where her fingers had danced. He shivered, and kissed at her
neck, fingers twisting her hair. She leaned into his touch, gripping his shirt
tightly. He blew softly against her face, and she giggled, a girlish, care-free
sound, and he smiled against her neck.
“I love it when you giggle.”
“When have you heard…?”
He leaned closer and whispered in her ear.
“When I do this…”
Her giggles echoed through the house, chasing away
the demons.
~
//So, what happens now?
So, what happens now?//
It was nearly midnight when she had settled down to
sleep. Daniel had set up the bed with a minimum of grumbling, and she was now
staring at the ceiling, unwilling to let her eyes shut.
Every night she had spent in hospital, she had
dreaded closing her eyes. When she slept, she lost control – she couldn’t
defend herself, against fears real and imaginary. The shadows that filled her
dreams were only half-truths, but they scared her.
It was always Daniel. He would be sitting by her
bed, talking about the crimson world they would visit or some report or
another, then he would stand, and look at her with Oliver’s eyes. He’d hit her,
again, again, and no one would stop him. No one.
It was what she saw every night, and sometimes by
light as well, as if one daily haunting wasn’t enough for the ghosts clinging
to her soul. She had expected it to fade away, but it wasn’t. She hadn’t told
Daniel, but he knew. They would see Janet, they would talk, and hopefully these
demons would be laid to rest. Hopefully.
She heard a sound in the hall, something
indistinct. Her muscles tightened, but she forced herself to relax. It was
probably Bast, just a cat...
The cat was sleeping by her bed, she could see her
shape by the moonlight. Then, who was in...?
A hand descended over her mouth, and she tried to
scream. She was roughly pulled upwards, trying to fight with her good arm but
numbed by the pain of her plaster dragging along the mattress. No, this
couldn’t be, her nightmares couldn’t be real, Daniel...
“Shut up,” the voice hissed, and she tensed,
knowing that voice. He had come for her, oh God, he was here...
His face peered over hers, smiling; and a chill
came over her. It was like staring into the eyes of a dead man, cold,
unfeeling...and she had once loved this man...
Bast screeched, and leapt at him, and for a moment,
he released her, dealing with the surprise attack. Sam tried to scream, but she
couldn’t – pain and fear freezing her. She had never felt so vulnerable –
hampered by plaster, only a cat to protect her...
She heard a sickening thud, and closed her eyes.
//Goodbye, friend// He moved back towards her, and she could hear him laughing.
Oh god, this was it...
“Get away from her.”
Her eyes flew open. He was standing over her, but
his mad gaze was directed elsewhere. She turned her head slightly, and saw a
shadow in the doorway. Daniel.
“And what will you do, Jackson? Throw a book?”
“You have no idea.”
The steel in his voice scared even her, and for one
absurd moment, her mind convinced her that two Olivers stood there. But then
she caught his glance, and she knew she was safe. Daniel would never hurt her.
And he would die before he let some bastard get her.
Oliver moved towards Daniel, and then Sam saw the
gun in his hand. //No! You won’t take him, I won’t let you...// Her fear
dissolved in a heartbeat, and she grabbed for what was on the nearest shelf and
threw it as hard as she could. A dull thud echoed through the room, and slowly,
he fell to the floor, gun sliding out of his hand.
The lights came on, and Daniel ran towards her,
pulling her tightly into his arms.
“Sam, I heard Bast, and I knew...he could’ve...oh
god...”
He held her close to him, and she could hear the
tears in his voice, and they were as real to her as the ones falling from her
own eyes.
“I’m here, Daniel. I’m not going anywhere.”
After a few minutes, they slowly parted, and looked
across at the still-unconscious Oliver.
“I’d better call someone.”
Daniel got up and went for the phone. Sam pulled
her chair across, pulled herself in and wheeled across to where he lay. There
was some blood on his head, but she could see him breathing. Unfortunately. She
looked beside his head for what she had thrown, and burst out laughing.
Daniel ran at the sound, and walked towards it,
hefting it in his hand.
“Encyclopaedia, anyone?”
He went back to his conversation, and she blocked
it out, concentrating on another sound. It sounded like...mewing...
She moved towards the sound, and smiled. Bast was
walking towards her, not quite in a straight line but still walking, and leapt
towards her arms. She cradled the cat, smiling at her. Survivors – they were
survivors. All of them.
No one could hurt her now. No one.
~
//Where am I going to?
Sam walked out of the SGC, and scanned the car
park. No black jeep. No waiting Oliver. Nothing.
“Sam?”
He walked up, jacket slung over his shoulder,
smiling at her. She smiled back, and stepped forward, kissing him softly. This
was elation. This was amazing.
This was her and Daniel.
“I booked a table at Marco’s – thought we could go
out tonight. Of course, it’s your decision…”
He trailed off, blue eyes searching hers. She
smiled.
“Dinner would be great.”
He smiled brightly, and she stepped easily into his
arms. She knew how lucky she was to have met him, to know this amazing man who
had lost everything and still had a smile like a supernova.
They had been through so much together, but it had
taken pain, fear and the wrong man to convince her of the truth. And now, here
they were – together. It was almost too much to believe.
They arrived at Daniel’s house – their house – in
what seemed like seconds, and as they entered, Bast circled her legs, purring.
She picked up the beautiful cat, as Daniel stood behind her, breath on her
neck, and reached forward to pet the cat, brushing by her hair.
Shivers fell down her spine, and warmth spread down
to her toes. She put Bast down, and motioned upstairs. He nodded once, still
smiling, and she fled away. Once inside their bedroom, she took a good look
around, breathing in the surroundings.
Everything precious to her was in that room –
photographs of SG-1, of Cassie or just them alone, caught by some unknowing
airman with a camera, just being them, showing so much more. And then, the
beautiful orchid on the shelf, in the vase they had painted together, curled up
by the fire. Growing, as they were, as their love was.
This was *their* home.
She changed quickly, finding a dress that didn’t
remind her of Oliver, that fit in to who she was now, with Daniel. It was only
when she had finished dressing that she realised this was the dress he had
given her, the one he’d bought because he had ‘known it was hers’. She walked
down the stairs, lost in her feelings, and there he was. He looked at her as if
she were the most amazing woman he’d ever seen, and a slow smile spread across
his lips.
He took her arm and they walked out together, not a
word between them. And as dinner passed, as the wine stayed mostly in the
bottle, and they talked about only what they loved and what made them happy,
Sam realised what she’d been missing. And suddenly she had a lot of time to
make up.
When they went out to the car, he looked at her
with his sincere gaze, and said, ‘I love you, Sam.’ Then, slowly, he knelt down
on the wet street, took her hand and asked ‘Will you marry me?’
And for the first time in forever,
Sam knew the choice she made would be the right one.
//Don’t ask anymore//