TITLE: Of Fridges and Fools
AUTHOR: Demon Faith
CATEGORY: Sam/Josh, Humour (hopefully), Sam POV
SPOILERS: None
SUMMARY: Sam gets trapped underneath his fridge
DISCLAIMER: I do not own The West Wing or the fridge. I don’t even really own the plot bunny. Oops.
AUTHOR’S NOTES: I admit, the bunny is not mine. I’m currently typing up a pantomime for a friend, and the fridge incident was in the script. I could just see poor Sam stuck under a fridge…so here goes.
I cannot believe this is happening to me.
One minute, the fridge was perfectly balanced on the trolley. And the next, it was on top of me, with only a trolley and a cupboard door to stop me being crushed. I can’t move, and the trolley keeps slipping. If it carries on like this, I will have several shattered ribs within the next hour.
Just great.
So, seeing as I have nothing better to do, I might as well recount exactly why I’m trapped under a fridge in Josh’s kitchen whilst wearing a bathrobe. That’ll be an amusing tale for the gossip circle to be sure.
Well, it starts like this. I’m moving in with Josh.
Yes, I can hardly believe it myself. But somewhere, somehow, we stopped being just friends and involved into goodness-knows-what. It all started at New Year…
~
“I can’t cook.”
“I know that.”
“Well, you can’t come over to my place without something to eat.”
“We’ll order take-out.”
Josh thumped his fist on the table, nearly making me jump out of my skin.
“Damnit Sam, it’s New Year! For once, I should be able to do something.”
I smiled at him. He looks so adorable when he’s all flustered and upset with himself. You have the greatest desire to hug him and plant a kiss on those pouting lips. Ok, I’m not sure where that came from, but it’s going back!
“Don’t worry, Josh, I’ll cook. Come over to my place instead.”
“Sam, the point was…”
“The point was that we finally got to talk about what was bothering you. Which we can do at my place, with food which may actually be edible.”
He smiled shyly at me, and a shiver went down my spine. Oh dear lord, I have to do something about this!
~
Yeah, so I was gone by then. I had fallen in love with Josh Lyman. That was a stupid thing to do, wasn’t it? I mean, for one thing, we’re both supposedly straight. I think I pretty much disproved that with ‘I love Josh’ though. Well, he was straight. And I was going to spend an entire evening chanting that in my head, whilst he looked totally kissable in the jumper Donna gave him for Christmas.
Well, we can see how well that plan went!
~
He turned up around seven, in the deep blue jumper that hugged at his astounding figure. Mentally pouring ice water over my head, I let him in and directed him towards the sofa. He smiled appreciatively at the smell of roast chicken coming from the kitchen, as I fetched a bottle of wine.
As soon as I had sat down with my own glass and handed him his, he went all serious on me. It’s an interesting sight: his shoulders tense slightly, and his head dips. If you can see his face, there’s a little frown on his forehead and he’s chewing at his lip. It’s at that moment I want to run for the ice dispenser.
“Sam, I have to talk to you.”
“Okay, Josh, what’s on your mind?”
He looked at me then, and I thought the sun was going nova. There was something completely unreadable in his eyes that sent a shock through my entire body. The dimples were out, and his eyes were shining and glistening with tears at the same time.
“I’ve been…thinking about you. And y’know, watching you. And I fully understand if you want to kick me out after I say this, but I…”
He’s going to say it. He’s really going to say it. My hands are trembling, and I want to cry and laugh at the same time.
“I love you, Sam. I mean, really, *really* love you. Of course, you’re…you, and I shouldn’t have said it. But I’ve been going out of my mind, and I had to. So, I think, yeah, I’ll go now…”
Josh got up and walked towards the door. My body moved before I could think. I spun him round by his shoulder, and he ended up against the wall with me standing in front of him. Then, without a single thought, I kissed him.
Fireworks and clattering cymbals do nothing to describe the feeling of pure elation I felt at that moment. We were in a world all of our own, and it was so beautiful. I broke the kiss, and he smiled at me.
“Well, ahkay.”
~
That’s where it started. From there, it went rapidly out of control. We thought we were going to spontaneously combust, and neither of us really cared. So, now it’s March, and we haven’t burned down anything yet, so we figured we could take the next step.
Though, how, you’re wondering, this explains the bathrobe and the fridge slipping ever closer to crushing me. Quite simply put, I got a head cold today, the day I’m supposed to move into Josh’s. He suggested that I stay at his place, and oversee the stuff being put in. The removal men left the fridge in the hallway – I’m keeping my fridge, it has an ice dispenser – and I felt obligated to move into the proper place in the kitchen. As I attempted to move it the first time, it spilled water all over the floor and me. I took off my soaked clothes, and slipped on the bathrobe. Returning to the kitchen, I began to move the trolley again, when a wheel skidded on the wet floor, and sent the whole thing, tumbling on to me. If the trolley hadn’t got wedged on the cupboard handle, I would be a shattered mess on the lino.
So, as I wait for the fridge to crush me, I consider the fact that Josh is going to come home and find his lover mashed beneath a fridge. What a lovely sight! It gives me goosebumps just thinking…no, hang on, that’s my cellphone…
Manoeuvring my hand slightly, I pull the phone out of my pocket and look at the name flashing on it. I answer.
“Donna! I need your help!”
“Help? What have you done, Sam?”
I briefly consider how to say this without provoking laughter, give up the idea and just blurt it out.
“I’m stuck under a fridge in Josh’s kitchen!”
There is silence, as I hear her drop something.
“Are you alright?”
“Well, it hurts, and I think it may crush me at any moment…”
“I’m coming.”
She slams the phone down and I wait for the incredible embarrassment that will soon be upon me. However, I figure it spares Josh the pain of seeing my remains smeared across the kitchen floor. Yes, definitely an upside.
~
“SAM!”
Josh comes running into the kitchen, and promptly slips on the water. CJ – what the hell – grabs hold of him and stops him falling over. Toby – oh, for crying out loud – peeps around the doorway, followed by Donna. It’ll be the President and Leo next, I swear.
“Oh God, Sam, are you okay?”
“Apart from the huge weight of fridge pressing on me, I’m absolutely great.”
They all bend down, and lift the trolley up to a stand. I try to sit up, groan in pain, and lie back in the ice water lapping around me. Josh takes hold of me, and carefully draws me into his arms. He holds me against him, and I can feel him sobbing slightly. CJ unplugs the kettle and takes it into the sitting room, murmuring something about tea. The others take the hint and follow her.
“Damnit, Sam, I should’ve been here.”
“You’re here now,” I breathe softly, as he holds me tighter.
“Does it hurt?” he says, drawing back a little, as if he’s afraid he’ll break me.
“Yeah, a little.”
“It’s okay, Abbey’s on her way.”
I roll my eyes and he smiles.
“It was the only way to stop the President charging down here. Look, let me get you off the floor.”
Holding me against him, he stands slowly. I realise that my legs don’t appear to be functioning, and he actually picks me up and carries me to the sofa. The others move aside, as he lays me gently on the couch. He stands up straight, wincing slightly. I frown at him – he knows he shouldn’t do lifting like that.
He kneels on the floor beside me, taking my hands firmly in his. The doorbell rings, and Donna goes to answer it. Here comes the hurricane…
“Sam Seaborn, you are a complete klutz.”
Abbey Bartlet hurries in, in full Doctor Quinn mode. She drops the bag she’s holding, and quickly shoos everyone out. However, she realises Josh isn’t going to move in a hurry and leaves him be.
“So, Sam, you had a fridge on top of you?”
“Yeah, I guess,” I’m surprised at the weakness in my own voice.
She carefully parts my robe – thank goodness I kept my boxers on – and examines my chest. Tilting my head slightly, I see the forming bruises and angry red skin. Oops.
She touches at my ribs, and I wince but nothing gives. She nods to herself and pulls out a roll of bandage.
“You haven’t broken anything, but you have bruised ribs and your circulation may not be too good. I’m going to bandage your ribs, and I want you to stay in bed for the next couple of days. No physical exertion of any kind,” she looks pointedly at Josh, who blushes. I think I may be going red myself.
She motions for Josh to help her, and they lift me into a sit. It hurts, but I bite my lip. Josh holds on to me, with amazing tenderness, as Abbey slips off my bathrobe. Josh takes my shoulders, as she winds the bandage around my ribs. When she has finished, Josh offers her tea but she makes her excuses and leaves. The others drift back into the room, just as Josh is fussing about me. He motions to Donna, who he gets to hold onto me. He slips in behind me, and carefully settles me down on his chest. Donna goes to find a blanket, whilst CJ and Toby start talking about the meeting they’re quite happily missing.
And, it’s funny: all I can think of is that fact that, however strange it may seem, it would be nice if fridges fell more often.