TITLE: What We’re Not, What We Are

AUTHOR: Demon Faith

CATEGORY: Humour (hopefully), Songfic (technically)

SPOILERS: None specifically, but note that I stopped watching after Season 4

RATING: A big fat G (I’m as shocked as the rest of you…)

SUMMARY: Sam and Josh are all shook up

DISCLAIMER: The West Wing is the intellectual property of Aaron Sorkin, Bradley Whitford and Rob Lowe happily own themselves and “All Shook Up” is mostly owned by the Elvis Presley estate.

NOTES: I was fortunate enough to catch the Elvis musical “All Shook Up” whilst I was on vacation in NYC. This ficlet came to me in the middle of the second act – actually at the exact moment described. My brain is strange.

“Still can’t believe you’re here?”

“Saaam…this is…girlie!”

Sam chuckled low in his throat, as they resumed their seats in the balcony. They were well-hidden up here from anyone who might recognise them and, besides, they were the only last-minute tickets he could scrounge out of the Box Office.

“But you enjoyed the first half…” he teased and Josh shifted awkwardly in his chair.

“Yeah…but that’s only because of the music! Elvis is the King, but *musicals*…”

“Shh, it’s starting.”

It was all going so well, Sam thought. He’d finally managed to get time off with Josh, to catch up after their respectively hectic schedules had thrown them every which ways around the continent and here they were, back in NYC and all its poignant memories. They had finally succumbed to the tourist thing – Liberty, Ellis, Empire State – before Sam insisted they catch at least one Broadway musical.

And this was the only one Josh would even deign to consider.

But Sam knew he was secretly enjoying himself, humming along and tapping his feet when he thought Sam wasn’t watching. Unfortunately for Josh, those times were few and far between – Sam, much to his own guilt, could not stop staring at his friend, was in fact paying more attention to the shadowed contours of his face than the actual show on stage.

And then it happened.

In true Shakespearean style, the heroine had dressed up as a man to get closer to the hero. She coaxes them into role play, him teaching her the art of seduction. But it is him who is seduced…by his “male” best friend.

A sidelong glance at Josh showed uncontrollable mirth, the tears rolling down his cheeks and Sam faked a good deal of laughter, his mind racing. Was this a sign? Was this the moment?

What should he do?

~I don’t want to, I don’t want to …~

Could he risk it? Could he take a chance that his best friend wouldn’t punch him in the middle of the theatre? Could he risk their political careers over this secret he’d kept hidden for more than a decade?

~I don’t want to let you know how much I want you~

With the utmost care, Sam slid his hand neatly into Josh’s and held on, eyes firmly fixed on the stage. After a few moments, he felt the slightest pressure on his fingers and turned warily to face Josh, who was scrutinising his face carefully.

“You’re not a girl, are you?”

Sam swallowed his guffaw of laughter and shook his head, no.

“Good,” Josh nodded and held on.

~I don’t want to love you, but I do~